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Rebuttal to Riding a Dead Horse
By Bob Rhoades

See Verities & Balderdash, Dead Horses and Live Husbands

You have obviously overlooked a couple of key points in your assessment of the dead horse problem which I will take a moment to point out.

1. Buying a stronger whip.  Fallacy with this is the amount of time it will take to write a lesson plan on whip operation as well as the overtime needed to bring all employees and supervisors up to speed on whip operation.

2. Changing riders.  Once again it’s not that easy.  As you may have guessed there is a definite training problem again and if no qualified people are accessible, it is hard to estimate the amount of time it will take to deal with the grievance that will be filed by the person picked because that person is now working “out of class.”

3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.  Not the government way. This committee would probably  already have been convened because someone thought something was wrong but couldn’t quite put their finger on it. First thing they’ll need to do is decide when the second meeting will be.

4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.  This should be done first with a minimum of 5 senators and 5 representatives, the director of Agriculture, the harness racing people and four people from the Ohio Lottery. (they don’t get to travel much)

5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included. Since state government is the fountain of youth for mediocrity, lowering the standards would be quite an accomplishment.

6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.  This will work but will require a separate entrance to all state buildings.

7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.  Actually this would be selling the dead horse to a contractor, who will in turn, charge the state for studying the dead horse to see why it doesn’t work well. This will come with cost over runs, the need for sub-contractors and two government inspectors.

8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed. This would be done by the contractor.

9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse’s performance.  See No. 1.

10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s performance. Once again the “out of class” problem.

11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.  This is good only if there is a guarantee that there will not be any more horse poop.

12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses. The state does not have performance standards. If they did, it would mean writing things down and then making people accountable and that’s not the state way. And, of course,

13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.  Only one part of the horse would get promoted and I believe you know which part that is.  No 13 is definitely doable with a little cleanup and actually there are cases where this has happened so there will be case studies and it should be able to be on line quicker than any of the other suggestions.


 
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