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“Verity -
the quality or state of being true or
real; Balderdash – nonsense.”
Miriam-Webster
Online Dictionary
Verities
& Balderdash
A
look at today… and tomorrow
Edited
by Bob Robinson
November 1, 2011
Many,
including me, have questioned what
the future is going to look like for our descendants. Before we look at
two
possible options, let’s take a look at how we have resolved the
transition from
“working-Dad-stay-at-home-Mom” to both parents working to make ends
meet (or,
of course, to satisfy personal and/or sociological needs)…
Working
Wives
Mary
was married to something of a
chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything
around the
house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was “woman’s
work.”
One
evening Mary arrived home from
work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine
and
another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table,
complete
with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know
what was
going on.
It
turned out that her husband Charley
had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more
romantically inclined if they weren’t so tired from having to do all
the
housework in addition to holding down a full- time job. The next day,
she
couldn’t wait to tell her friends in the office.
“How
did it work out?” they asked.
“Well,
it was a great dinner,” Mary
said. “Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework,
folded the
laundry and put everything away.”
“But
what about afterward?” her
friends wanted to know.
“Oh,
that part didn’t work out,” Mary said.
“Charley fell asleep in the laundry room.”
Now
that we have a picture of our current
two-parent working families, what does our future look like? Coming up…
two
separate “glances” at today’s youth…
They
Walk Among Us
This
just might make your day a little
brighter!! You who worry about Democrats versus Republicans… relax.
Here is our
real problem.
In
a university classroom, they were
discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States. It
was
pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least
35
years of age.
However,
one girl in the class
immediately started in on how unfair the requirement to be a natural
born citizen
was. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many
capable
individuals from becoming president.
The
class was taking it in and letting
her rant, but not many jaws hit the floor when she wrapped up her
argument by
stating “What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead
this
country than one born by C-section?”
Yep,
these are the same 18-year-olds
that are now voting in our elections! They breed and they walk among
us. Lord, we
need more help than we thought. And she wasn’t even a blonde!!
Now
for the other side…
Divorce
Agreement Offer
Dear
American liberals, leftists,
social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We
have stuck together since the late
1950’s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election
process
has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each
other for
many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this
relationship has
clearly run its course.
Our
two ideological sides of America
cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let’s
just end
it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable
differences and go our own way.
Here
is a model separation agreement:
--Our
two groups can equitably divide
up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be
the
difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly
agreement.
After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective
representatives can
effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct
and
disparate tastes.
--We
don’t like redistributive taxes
so you can keep them.
--You
are welcome to the liberal
judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our
firearms, the
cops, the NRA and the military.
--We’ll
take the nasty, smelly oil
industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep
Oprah,
Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell. You are, however, responsible for
finding a
bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
--We’ll
keep capitalism, greedy
corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You
can have
your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless,
homeboys,
hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey
Moms,
greedy CEO’s and rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and
Hollywood.
--You
can make nice with Iran and
Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that
threaten
us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or
our way
of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.
--We’ll
keep our Judeo-Christian
values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political
correctness
and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer
be paying
the bill.
--We’ll
keep the SUV’s, pickup trucks
and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can
find.
--You
can give everyone healthcare if
you can find any practicing doctors. We’ll continue to believe
healthcare is a
luxury and not a right.
--We’ll
keep “The Battle Hymn of the
Republic” and “The National Anthem.” I’m sure you’ll be happy to
substitute
“Imagine”, “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing”, “Kum Ba Ya” or “We
Are the
World”.
--We’ll
practice trickle down
economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best
shot.
--Since
it often so offends you, we’ll
keep our history, our name and our flag.
In
the spirit of friendly parting, if
one of us needs help in 15 years, we will be here for you.
Sincerely,
A
College Student
P.S.
Also, please take Ted Turner,
Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, &
(Hanoi) Jane
Fonda with you...
P.P.S.
And you won’t have to press 1
for English when you call our country.
So…
who’s going to come out on top? Your
guess is as good as mine.
See
you next time.
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