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From “God Don’t Make Junk”
The Golf Balls
of Life
By Bob Robinson
In 2005 I wrote as part of the introduction to my book, “God Don’t Make
Junk, from Ramblings of an Old Man,” an adaptation to something that
was floating around the Internet.
It was about golf balls and pebbles and sand and stuff. The message was
powerful; the delivery… well… so, so. I love stealing great ideas that
are presented in a boring manner and trying to liven them up a bit.
Which is exactly what I did. I published my version in my weekly column
in February of 2003. It went like this…
I am not a golfer. Personally, I can't think of a more useless
recreational sport than golf.
It's great for junior high and high school where our kids learn
attitudes such as perseverance, practice, competition… they get a lot
of exercise, and they don't have to worry about broken bones and
crushed knee-caps. I golfed when I was that age. That's a good thing.
But as adults? You can't even call it exercise… come on, be honest. How
many of you actually do 18 holes without a golf cart and a six-pack?
Then there's the golf channel. I can remember one of Bill Cosby's
routines when I was a kid. Everyone was quiet while he addressed the
ball.
Hello, ball, he said.
He brings his arms back. The crowd stops breathing. Hush, hush. The
suspense is killing us. Then whap! The camera pans… to what? A blue sky.
Exciting.
But then I discovered a use for golf balls. Rather, one of our readers
did. I loved what he sent me, so I'm going to share it with you… after
taking some creative license with it, of course.
A philosophy professor puts a large jar on his desk and fills it with
golf balls.
"Is it full?" he asks his class. "Yes," the students answer.
Then he takes a bag of pebbles and pours the contents into the jar. He
shakes it a little until all the pebbles settle into the spaces between
the golf balls.
"Is it full?" he asks. "Yes," they answer. A couple snickers could be
heard.
Then he takes a box of sand and empties it into the jar. The grains
fill the remaining space.
"Is it full?" he asks. "Yes," they answer. Most are laughing now.
Finally, he cracks open two cans of beer and empties them into the jar.
He waits until the laughter subsides.
"So, what happens if you pour the sand in first, then the pebbles, then
the golf balls?"
His class agreed that there'd be little room for the golf balls,
possibly even the pebbles.
Is there a point to all this? You bet.
It's a philosophy class, remember?
The golf balls are the important things in your life… God, your spouse,
your country, your health, your children and grandchildren, your
passions, your community… things that if everything else in your life
was lost – and only these remained – your life would still be full.
The pebbles represent other things that matter. Your job, your house,
your car. Watching football on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. Even
watching blue sky on the golf channel if you so choose. Loss of these
things, while annoying, maybe even stressful, can be overcome. They can
be replaced.
The sand?
That's the garbage. The small stuff. The "who cares" stuff. The type of
stuff that gets passed around in rumors or can be found in the middle
of bar fights. The nit-picking. The back-biting. It is pretty much
everything that is left over once you catalog what's important, and add
in the other things that matter.
Most of us get bombarded with sand, and it has a tendency to fill the
jar, leaving little room for pebbles or golf balls. Our time. Our
energy. All can be completely drained by the garbage if we let it.
So don't. Make sure the golf balls are "addressed" first. Always.
Heard this before? Good. It's time to remind yourself of what's
important. A new concept? It's never too late to learn. I know it made
me stop and think.
Especially about the golf balls. I finally found a use for them.
The golf balls of life.
By the way, remember the beer? Our wise professor of philosophy told
the class:
"It just goes to show that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of beers."
My kind of guy…
I don’t know how long that version had been floating around the
Internet when I got it in 2003, but we know it’s been at least eight
years.
This link – sent by a CNO reader – gives us the modern day version, but
this time it’s been made into a video. The photos and graphics add
another dimension to the message. They call it… for some reason or
another, The Empty Pickle Jar. Check it out here.
“God Don’t Make
Junk, From Ramblings of an Old Man,” is no longer available in print
except at Amazon.com, Bears Mill and the Gift Shop at Brethren
Retirement Community. They run $25 to $30. If I can dredge up a few
more copies, I’ve promised one to someone but I’ll make the others
available to any CNO Reader who is interested.
I can now offer a
pdf or docx version of the book. It is available for a donation of $10,
which will be used toward the SSSF scholarship program for Darke County
teens heading to college. Make your donation through PayPal (credit
cards accepted) or send your check to County News Online, P.O. Box
1113, Greenville, Ohio 45331. You will need to send your email address
to editor@countynewsonline.org
in order to receive the file. Be sure to specify pdf or docx.
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