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Redstate
Illegitimate
states, dubious wars, and diplomacy by gaffe
By
John Hayward
September
9th, 2013
Let’s
see if I’ve got this right: our headlong rush to war in Syria was
so important that not even the U.S. Constitution could be allowed to
stand in its way. But at the eleventh hour, President Obama decided
he needed some accomplices in case it turns into a fiasco, and the
British Parliament vote against was in Syria made unilateral cowboy
aggression by Obama politically difficult, so he decided to let
Congress weigh in after all. No one in the Administration would
promise to respect the outcome of the vote – unless they voted
“yes,” of course, in which case it would be the most historically
wonderful congressional action since ObamaCare passed in the dead of
night on a party-line vote that still required special deals and
kickbacks to buy off half of Obama’s party.
Any
congressional representative who voted against striking Assad with an
“unbelievably small” attack, to quote Secretary of State John
Kerry, would be guilty of callous indifference to the suffering of
Syria’s children. Assad is one of History’s Greatest Monsters,
so we’ve got to do something, but not much, or else he might topple
from his throne, and then we’d find out just how “moderate” and
“secular” those rambunctious Syrian rebels really are. The
little dears are busy persecuting Christians at the moment, so it
would be a shame to interrupt their fun by asking them to form a
government and take charge of Assad’s nerve gas stockpiles.
Former
Democratic congresswoman Jane Harman was tapped to run around Capitol
Hill calling Syria skeptics a bunch of cowards who secretly can’t
wait for American bombs to hit something-or-other in Syria, but “just
don’t want to vote for it,” because their stupid constituents are
massively opposed to Obama’s war, and their opposition grows more
intense the longer Obama and Kerry talk about it. Majority Leader
Harry Reid (D-NV) wobbled onto the Senate floor to cough up Holocaust
analogies. He hasn’t been this worked up about anything since the
voices in his head told him Mitt Romney was cheating on his taxes.
Obama
was just about ready to whip out his iPhone and ask Siri to start
launching missiles when Secretary of State Kerry blew the whole march
to war with a “gaffe” that quickly became official U.S. policy. His
audience was nodding off during one of his narcotic speeches when
a reporter, desperately clinging to the last shreds of consciousness,
asked if there was any way Assad could avoid the unbelievably small
ass-kicking headed his way. Kerry replied, “Sure, he could turn
over every bit of his weapons to the international community within
the next week, without delay. But he isn’t about to.”
Even
as embarrassed State Department functionaries were busy walking
Kerry’s off-the-cuff comments back – dismissing it as
“rhetorical” nonsense intended to remind the world that Bashar
Assad is a “brutal dictator with a history of playing fast and
loose with the facts” – the Russians elbowed our hapless
Secretary of State off the world stage and declared it was a smashing
idea to let Assad hand over his sarin shells. Syria’s Foreign
Minister “welcomed” the Russian plan. Within a matter of hours –
while Obama’s loyal drones were still trudging before cameras to
insist on a bombing campaign – the State Department was obliged to
walk back its walkback of Kerry’s idiotic statement, which had now
become official government policy. It’s quite possible that John
Kerry might just have blundered us out of a war...
Read
the rest of the article at Redstate
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