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Washington Post
Getting into
college was the easy part. Staying there is becoming harder than ever,
experts say.
By Valerie Strauss
August 14
However difficult getting into college may have been, it turns out,
that may have been the easiest part of the transition to college life,
admissions officials say. Inadequate preparation, unrealistic
expectations and other issues that college freshmen don’t anticipate
can become important obstacles to happiness and success.
With about one-third of undergraduates transferring at one point in
their careers and an even bigger percentage dropping out for financial
and other reasons, staying in college is becoming increasingly hard for
many students.
So what do students and parents need to know to avoid disaster? Here is
a piece offering advice from the professionals — counselors and
students who have been through the transition process. This was written
by Brennan Barnard, director of college counseling at the Derryfield
School, a private college preparatory day school for grades 6-12 in
Manchester, N.H. He has penned a number of posts about college
admissions for this blog, including:
[How college admissions has turned into something akin to ‘The Hunger
Games’]
By Brennan Barnard
Shower caddy? Check. Earplugs? Check.
Tupperware bins? Check. Enough socks and underwear to last
until vacation? Check. August has arrived and many recent
high school graduates are preparing for their first year of college in
a few weeks. But are they truly prepared for what lies ahead?
Immeasurable energy, attention (okay … obsession) and resources are
devoted to “getting in” to college. Throughout high school,
students and parents fixate on admission and the “prize” of college,
often neglecting what lies between: the transition process.
For many young people, college represents a rite of passage — the onset
of adulthood — which ought to be a time of healthy focus on a major
life transition. Instead, the experience is anticlimactic and
often wrought with disappointment, as it is overshadowed by admission
fatigue and the acceptance itself. The hype around selective
college admission would have families believe that acceptance is the
pinnacle of high school success. Meanwhile deceptive marketing
and promotion provides an unrealistic perception of the endless joy and
perfection that supposedly await students on campus.
Heath Einstein, dean of admission at Texas Christian University, said:
“In some ways, the struggle to adjust from their cocoons to a new
environment are no different from decades past. The difference, though,
is that they arrive less equipped to handle independent living.”
Further, he said that today’s students have “been so beaten down by the
high school experience that they carry with them significant emotional
baggage which manifests in unhealthy choices.”
Catherine McDonald Davenport, dean of admissions at Dickinson College
in Pennsylvania, agreed, saying that “staying in has become much
harder” than getting accepted to college.
Colleges and universities plan elaborate orientations and welcome new
students with support and enthusiasm, but this may only skim the
surface of what today’s adolescents require to prepare for college
life. After all the AP courses are done, athletic competitions are over
and activities have faded, what is next? The best four years of
their lives? Perhaps, but having invested considerably in searching for
and applying to college, students are left with a void around what to
actually expect.
Shane McGuire, assistant director of admissions at Vanderbilt
University in Tennessee believes these false expectations can be
avoided by more clarity in the admissions process. He wrote,
“Admissions has to be transparent about the good, bad, and ugly at
their institutions so students know what to expect and can truly find
their right fit.” This gap between marketing and reality is among the
most challenging roadblocks to a smooth transition to college.
With transfer rates increasing and student mental health deteriorating,
it is prudent to explore the student experience as young people settle
into college living and learning. I asked high school seniors,
current college students and admission professionals about the
transition to college and immediately common themes emerged. Here
is what they had to say:
Transition anxiety
When asked about their greatest academic concerns in the transition to
college, high school seniors cited everything from procrastination and
effective time management to worries about large classes and “mean”
professors who might weed students out of their intended major.
Increased reading demands, workload and insecurity about writing
ability also weigh heavily on the minds of college bound
students. The most honest and transparent high school seniors
shared anxiety about “feeling inferior to classmates” and “not being
smart enough to handle college.”
[Why so many college students decide to transfer]
This fear of not being “enough” was also exposed as students
anticipated the social aspects of college. One student shared, “I am
worried that I am too introverted and I won’t have time to relax while
still making friends.” Another explained, “My biggest concern is that
my first impression won’t be the best representation of the type of
person I actually am.” The most significant worries about
transitioning to college life are roommate issues, followed by fears of
not making close friends, the “hook-up” culture, the party scene and
generally fitting in. One student wrote, “I worry that people
will be going out on weekdays and I will have to choose between being
with friends and getting my work done.” Mike Sexton, vice
president for enrollment management at Santa Clara University in
California counters the anxiety with this message for incoming
students: “Be confident. We selected you for a reason. Be humble. We
admitted everyone else for reasons, too. No one knows your past
identity and accomplishments and everyone is as smart as you.”
Transition checklist
So, what should students consider as they arrive on college campuses
this fall?
Current college students reflecting on their initial months as
first-year students identified a range of ways they wish they had
approached the transition differently. Many lamented the
imbalance between socializing, studies and sleep as they acclimated to
increased independence and the excitement of new friends and
opportunities. Others would have connected with professors and
other support systems earlier in their college experience. What
follows are some considerations and best practices for transitioning to
college from veteran students and those who guide them:
Sign me up
Students who actively engage in campus life in and out of the classroom
are those who are happiest with their college experience, least likely
to transfer and more likely to graduate. Whether through an
intercollegiate or intramural sport, a club or a social group, creating
connection early in college makes all the difference. It is
easier to join activities from the start and ease off if it gets to be
too much than not to do anything and try to join established networks
once they have formed.
One college student advised incoming students to “make an attempt to
get further involved right away.” He wrote: “I wish I had really
explored the options for clubs on campus. The club fair usually happens
early in the year, and I wish I had taken the time to truly explore
what the offerings were instead of defaulting to clubs that were
similar to what I did in high school. Although I joined some different
clubs in my sophomore and junior year, I wish I had known about them
earlier.”
Want to learn more? The National Survey of Student Engagement
releases an annual report each November, which highlights the important
issues of retention and engagements.
Perfectionists
No matter how much time or effort was taken in finding the “right”
college, chances are there will be some disappointment or something
lacking at a student’s chosen college. The myth of perfection and the
trap of entitled thinking can quickly derail the college
experience. Often students (and parents) get upset because they
didn’t get “the best” residence hall, their exact desired schedule, or
because they cannot pick their roommate nor have a car on campus. Life
comes with disappointment, college is a good time to practice
resilience rather than transferring because of “Goldilocks
Syndrome” and everything not being just right.
Jason Honsel, director of College Counseling, at St. Andrew’s School in
Delaware warned: “Don’t expect everything to be perfect. You will have
good days and bad days, great professors and mediocre ones, good
friends and lousy ones. Push yourself to connect with your faculty. The
students who are willing to meet with faculty and ask for help and
support are often the happiest and most successful.”
Dr. Who?
Speaking of faculty, whether you come from a small secondary school
where teachers went by their first names or from a larger high school,
make an effort to know your professors and teaching assistants.
Be a self-advocate from the start — even if you are in a huge lecture
class, use office hours and other invitations from faculty to make
yourself known and connect directly. One college student warned:
“There is absolutely no handholding. No professor will check in on you,
nor will your peers. If you want to do absolutely nothing, you can do
absolutely nothing.” She writes, “I knew about this going into
college, but it is another thing to experience it first hand. You will
do poorly if you let yourself do poorly. That having been said, if you
reach out to professors or peers, college is extremely manageable.”
The ‘best’ four years
Students have no doubt been regaled with stories about the magic of the
college years. While college is rich with opportunity, learning,
exploration and growth, Texas Christian University’s Heath Einstein,
said, “The greatest myth is that college is the best four years of
their lives.” He addded, “If this is true, then they’re in for
very depressing lives.”
Kate Jacobson, associate dean of admission at Franklin & Marshall
in Pennsylvania said that students “have preconceived notions from
various sources (movies, books, social media) about what college
“should be.” She added: “They expect college to be so many things
in different realms (academic, social, etc) and if the college they
chose doesn’t seem to fit their expectations right away, they often
lose interest in trying to succeed.”
Rick Clark, director of undergraduate admission at Georgia Tech added:
“People constantly tell kids this prior to going off to school. Then,
when transition is hard and inevitable bumps occur, they question if
they’re doing something wrong, or missing out, or perhaps chose the
wrong school. The truth is college years are not the best of your life.
They’re just incredibly unique. There’s a big difference.”
Grade point awareness
While most students need an adjustment period to college-level
learning, this is not permission to aimlessly drift. Some
students shrug off low grades as an inevitable consequence of the
transition but it can be difficult to repair a low grade point average
and it is important to proactively ask for help and establish support
systems. One college student advised, “Get into a better routines from
the start. It took me a long time to break bad habits I made freshman
year. College is fun but remember your academics. Don’t let your
freshmen GPA come back to bite you.”
Major concerns
Many high school seniors worry about entering college as an undecided
major. They wonder if they are putting themselves at a
disadvantage. Matthew Cohen, senior associate director of
admissions at Skidmore College in Saratoga Springs, N.Y., encouraged
students not to create pressure to figure out the rest of their lives
in the first year (or even four) of college. He said, “People
change careers and situations several times through life and many of
those changes are unrelated to college majors.” A current college
junior agreed: “Keep an open mind about what you will study….I had it
set in my mind that I wanted to do accounting, and it turned out I
hated it.”
Out with the old, In with the new
College is an opportunity to branch out socially and personally.
While you do not need to forget long established friendships, be aware
of relying on what is comfortable. Matthew DeGreeff, dean of
college counseling and student enrichment at Middlesex School in
Massachusetts recommended that students “make an effort NOT to wear
high school gear, put out pictures of a high school crew or sweetheart,
or talk constantly about the glory days.” He said: “Be open to
new folks, listen to their stories, and don’t box yourself in by your
previous life. These subtle messages from your clothes, images, and
stories send messages and may turn away folks whom you really want to
know or relationships that you want to forge.”
Franklin & Marshall’s Jacobson said that students may not feel
connected with other students and form friendships quickly. She said:
“It takes time and effort to meet and make new friends. Students have
to be vulnerable and put themselves out there to make meaningful
connections with other students.”
A current college student agreed, advising first year students to “make
an effort to meet new friends.” He wrote, “I wish I had not been
so connected to my high school ties. I made the unfortunate decision to
stay strongly connected to a few high school friends, and didn’t allow
enough time for my new experiences in college.”
And as Georgia’s Tech’s Clark warned: “Don’t trust social media.
Everyone else is going to post their best day, their best looking new
friend, their most fun first week or first semester experiences.
They’re questioning things too. They’re struggling to fit in, find
friends, rebuild a community, etc.
A melting pot
Perhaps a stew is a better metaphor for the richness of backgrounds and
experiences that arrive on college campuses each fall. College
admission offices go to great lengths to build a diverse campus
community of individuals who will challenge each other and hopefully
broaden perspectives. While they can try to bring these multiple
voices to campus, it is up to the student acknowledge and embrace
it. First students must examine their own identity, privilege and
world views and only then are they able to seek out and understand the
experiences of others. For some, a college community is a foreign
environment and worlds away from their home reality. Others have
lived sheltered lives surrounded by people who look, talk and act like
them and have never had to confront difference, struggle, bias or hurt.
College can be an ideal opportunity to engage in honest and difficult
dialogue about institutionalized prejudice around issues of race,
class, gender, sexual orientation, ability and many other areas that
may or may not have been part of a young person’s previous
experience. These conversations can be messy and heated but are a
necessary part of living in community. Santa Clara University’s
Mike Sexton warns students not to stereotype anyone. He wrote: “The
diversity of backgrounds everyone brings to a community is amazing, you
just need to take the time to learn it. One common comment I hear of
freshmen is ‘people are so different here than home.’ The truth is,
people are different at home too, you just know those people and feel
comfortable around them.”
You are not alone
After the novelty of orientation and the first days of college wear
off, students can feel isolated and homesick. Sexton advised:
“There are others on campus having the same experiences. Talk with
them. Don’t deal with situations alone.”
Susan Tree, co-director of college counseling at the preK-12 Westtown
School in Pennsylvania, said she tells students to “learn quickly to
use your time well and get the support you need.” She added: “Start
building your ‘team’ of advisors and supporters early — they are there
to help you be successful and happy. You are in class fewer hours than
in high school but there is much more academic work expected of you
outside of class. Fewer assessments give you feedback so it is harder
to know how you are doing.”
Georgia Tech’s Rick Clark added: “One of the biggest struggles I see
students face is their own ego and confidence. Many have always been
the smartest in the room. They were the tutor in high school and
academic success came relatively easy. When they get to campus and are
surrounded by a bunch of other top 5 percent students, they can
question their identity and place. The humility to reach out early is
understandably hard but absolutely essential.”
Deb Shaver, dean of admission at Smith College in Massachusetts, urged
students not to wait to ask for help for academic, social or health
issues. She said: “Students who form a relationship or connection
with an adult other than a faculty member retain at a higher rate: get
to know the people at your work study job or at the library or in
student affairs. There are so many resources at college. Learn to take
advantage of them; you just need to ask.”
Most college campuses have mental health counseling and psychological
services that are free and anonymous, allowing students to begin to
understand themselves apart from the family system. For a
powerful story of one student-athlete’s struggle in transition, read:
“What Made Maddy Run: The Secret Struggles and Tragic Death of an
All-American Teen,” by Kate Fagan, ESPN commentator and journalist.
Roommate wanted
Many students are coming to college from homes where they have had the
luxury of their own room most of their lives. It can be a
challenge to adapt to living with another individual, especially a
total stranger. Middlesex School’s DeGreeff said, “The biggest
myth is your roommate(s) or hallway mates will be your best friends
forever and that there is a need for an immediate and tight
relationship.” He said that “students forget how socially
engineered many of the living arrangements are and that relationships
take work and time and common experiences to forge.” Be patient, manage
expectations and communicate openly.
Check out “The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into
in College” by Harlan Cohen. It is a candid and useful guide to
all things college transition. Mom and dad, there is also a
parent edition.
Oh, and parents….
Speaking of mom and dad, this can be as much — if not more — of a
difficult transition period for you as well. Talk to your children
about your expectations and ask them about theirs. At the same
time, let students figure things out on their own and don’t be upset
when your child gets busy. One college student wrote: “The less
you hear from your children, I’d posit the happier they are. When I was
miserable, my parents heard from me everyday, sometimes twice a day.
When I was happy, it was every couple of days.”
Lauren Lieberman, director of college counseling at Shady Side Academy
in Pennsylvania said, “Parents need to prepare themselves for the
unhappy calls at the beginning and be ready to listen without offering
to help make a transfer happen the next day.”
Another college student advised parents to “stay involved with their
child’s life during college and to try to be an open resource for them
without any judgment. She wrote: “Your child is an adult now and they
may make many mistakes in regards to many things, but they should be
able to confide in you in all regards. Most first year students feel
homesick. To have parents that are willing to listen and not add extra
stress to their child’s problems will truly help their child succeed.
Your child may not be as responsive as you would want them to be, but
it is important to keep checking in and asking how things are going.
Once your child sees that you aren’t judging them or have a “childlike”
view of them, they will begin to open up. It will take some time, but
this communication is vital and will truly have a lasting impact on
your relationship with your child, especially when the anxiety and
stress of school starts to creep in and your child needs someone to
turn to.”
Last words of wisdom:
As students finalize their packing, bid farewell to high school friends
and try to convince mom to stop crying, here are some parting thoughts
on a healthy and smooth transition to college:
Vanderbilt’s McGuire said, “In high school, there are a lot of
extrinsic factors that motivate students — parents making sure you get
up in the morning and get to school, teachers that take attendance and
stay on you about schoolwork, and even school officials that make sure
you are going to classes and getting involved in things outside the
classroom. Students are held accountable. In college, many of those
extrinsic factors and accountability measures go away. Students have to
decide if they are going to get out of bed in the morning and go to
class. Many college classes don’t require attendance, so students can
just skip with no “consequence.” Days are less structured, and students
have more freedom to decide if they are going to immerse themselves
academically, socially, etc. If they haven’t found intrinsic motivating
factors or have no idea what really motivates them in general, that can
be a big struggle for many as they transition to college life.”
Mike Geller, New England regional director of admissions for The George
Washington University in Washington, D.C. suggested this: “Be mindful
and think about what you want to get out of your education. College is
not just a stepping-stone to grad school or the workforce, it is a time
to really explore what kind of person you want to be in the world.”
Scott Chrysler, academic dean and college counselor at Episcopal School
of Acadiana in Louisiana warned, “Anything in excess is bad — sleeping,
eating, partying, studying, exercising, etc. Learn moderation and
balance.”
Moira McKinnon, director of college counseling at Berwick Academy in
Maine advised: “Be ready to ask for help, from many different sources.
Make friends with your resident assistants, your teaching
assistants/professors, and the dining hall staff. Do not skip class. Be
comfortable with discomfort, and seek out the unknown. Join at least
one club or team in the first two weeks to start building a social
network and a schedule beyond the academic day. Get a job, on campus if
you can: studies show working 10-12 hours a week leads to higher
grades, graduating on time, and building a network for your
resume. When you are feeling lonely, don’t go on social media to
connect with all your high school friends; instead, go down the hall
and make friends with someone new.”
And some final thoughts from current college students:
“Make decisions intentionally and thoughtfully. I sort of lost my
direction during freshman year, and instead of reflecting I just threw
myself really hard at anything and everything I could.”
“You need about six canisters of Lysol wipes for your dorm room. You
will never use the miniature ironing board. Vacuum your rug weekly. Nap
often. Be nice to your parents the summer before — they are as anxious
as you are but they’re also sad.”
“Don’t rush. Take your time enjoying your first year of college as you
make the proper adjustments.”
”Keeping an open mind is the biggest thing I’ve learned. Everyone wants
to have a plan that sounds good in their head, but may not be what they
wanted to ACTUALLY do. It is kind of a weird concept, but I fell
victim to this idea. Focus on simple success freshman year, don’t over
think it.”
“Take care of yourselves mentally, physically, and spiritually. You
will get through it all because there are resources to help you. Don’t
feel like you are alone. Beware of Imposter Syndrome. You are where you
are for a reason. Know that who you were in high school is completely
different from who you are and will be in college. No number or GPA
defines you. Lastly, remember your privilege and know that many people
have not had the opportunities that you have had. Learn and work to
create an equitable society where everyone has the same chances to
succeed as you have had.”
Read this and other articles at the Washington Post
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