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Family Events...
Do kids need a
spiritual life?
By Marybeth Hicks
Question of the Week...
My husband and I were raised in Christian churches but don’t share the
same views about the role of organized religion in our lives. He isn’t
churchgoing and doesn’t want to be. I don’t mind if he doesn’t want to
attend church but I want our kids to be exposed to religion and go to
Sunday school. Is it important that we agree on this? How can I explain
their dad’s belief to my kids without undermining him or confusing them
about the importance of going to church? Post answers on our Family
Events Facebook Page (see link below).
This week’s post...
Back in 2008, I wrote a parenting book called “Bringing Up Geeks,” in
which I asserted a radical parenting philosophy: we ought to raise
geeky children for success in life, and not for popularity in the
seventh grade. (These goals generally are mutually exclusive).
Among the reviews I received was one by a blogger who liked my premise,
my acronym for “GEEKs” — Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kids — and my
ten foolproof rules for raising innocent, wholesome children. All in
all, a great review.
Yet one paragraph troubled me. The blogger’s review encouraged
nonreligious readers to dismiss out of hand one aspect of my geeky
parenting strategy, raising a faithful child. “Nonreligious readers
should probably avoid Rule 10, because it talks about the importance of
spirituality in a child’s life... and how that helps them cope with
some of the stresses of being a ‘geek.’”
First, it should trouble all of us that a reviewer would essentially
offer, “If you don’t agree with something, don’t read an opposing point
of view.” This explains a lot about the tenor of our current civic
debate, doesn’t it?
Moreover, I was saddened that the suggestion of raising faithful
children can so easily be ignored without even considering the
consequences to children.
Do kids need a spiritual life?
To be clear, I don’t evangelize any specific faith tradition in my book
and I’m emphatic about that point. Here’s what I said: “This book does
not advocate a particular faith expression...” Pretty straightforward,
right?
Rather, my premise is that all the best research confirms that children
are spiritual by nature — they crave answers about God and about the
universe (How did God make mosquitoes? Why did God make my little
brother?) — and they are naturally open to teaching about religion and
spirituality.
In his seminal book “The Spiritual Life of Children,” Harvard Professor
Dr. Robert Coles concluded that his life’s work helped him to “see
children as seekers, as young pilgrims well aware that life is a finite
journey and as anxious to make sense of it as those of us who are
farther along in the time allotted us.” Coles concluded that
soul-searching and a sense of spirituality exist from a young age in
virtually everyone.
Equally important, research about children definitively states that
those raised in households where a religious practice is present are
more successful in several measurable ways, including school
performance, self-discipline and avoiding high risk behaviors such as
drinking, drug use and premature sexuality.
Of course, that’s not a reason to practice a religion. We engage in a
religious practice because doing so reflects our beliefs and values
about God and our relationship to a Supreme Being as we understand Him.
To ignore the spiritual development of our children seems to say,
“Sorry kid... I’m just not interested in promoting that aspect of your
personhood.”
All I said in my book is that parents — the vast majority of whom claim
they believe in God — should know what they believe about Him,
understand their beliefs well enough to teach them to their own
children, and then do so. It’s simply another aspect of child
development that helps to nurture the whole person and offers deeper
meaning to life in a world that often seems shallow and superficial.
I wish that reviewer had said this: Nonreligious readers will be
challenged by a chapter that asks them to reconsider the spiritual
needs of their children, but then again, something so important is
worth revisiting from time to time.
Thanks for reading and sharing Family Events!
Take good care until next week,
Marybeth
Read this article, answers to last week’s question and more at Family Events
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