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Family
Events...
Transitions
mean adjustments for the
whole family
By Marybeth Hicks
8/18/11
The
other day a friend posted on her
Facebook page, “Only one week till I send my first child off to
kindergarten —
I’m crying already!”
I
have a confession. When I sent my
eldest child to school, I didn’t cry. It might have been because she
had
already been attending preschool at the same parish school, so I knew
she’d be
comfortable and make an easy transition.
Or
it might have been because I’d just
had baby number three the summer before, and I was ready for a little
less
noise around the house!
I
do recall that each transition to
kindergarten, middle school, high school and college has brought its
share of
poignant moments along with the excitement of seeing my children embark
on a
new phase of life.
It’s
easy to focus exclusively on the
big changes ahead, but experts say we can make transitions smoother if
we don’t
over-do the build-up.
Talking
excessively about how much fun
kindergarten is going to be, or repeating the idea that high school or
college
will be “the best years of your life” can set kids up for
disappointment, while
piling on high expectations.
After
all, every new experience comes
with uncertainty and often, the initial days or weeks of school can be
rocky.
Instead,
we parents are urged to
simply reassure our kids that they are ready for the new experiences
ahead.
Three
tips for a great transition
1.
Exude confidence! If your child
sees that you’re nervous about sending him off to school, he’ll assume
he
should worry too. Whether you’re sending your five-year-old to the
elementary
school down the street or your 18-year-old to a college across the
country,
convey that you’re confident he is ready for what’s to come.
2.
Acknowledge the emotions, but focus
on the preparations. It’s crucial to take your child’s emotional
temperature
and know how she’s feeling about the transition ahead, but remember
kids are
often nervous because they feel out of control. Focusing on the
preparations —
whether you’re buying school supplies or outfitting a new high school
locker,
helps kids become emotionally prepared as well.
3.
Remind kids you will always be
there to support them. Note: This doesn’t mean you should hover at the
classroom door or be the last car to drive off campus! It means
reassuring
children that whatever they encounter, you’ve been there, done that,
and you
know how to assist them.
Good
luck with the launch from your
house, and thanks for reading and sharing Family Events!
Take
good care until next week,
Marybeth
This
week’s question: What’s your
biggest concern about sending your child off into the big, wide world?
Share
your insights on our Family Events Facebook page.
Read
answers to last week’s question
and more at Family Events
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