 |
Family Events...
Kids don’t need to
network to be social
By Marybeth Hicks
In the past few years as I’ve traveled across the country speaking to
parent and civic groups about raising children in today’s
“grow-up-too-fast-world,” the most frequently asked question I get from
audience members is, “What’s the right age to let my son or daughter
open a Facebook account?”
I’m always glad to be asked a question that has no right or wrong
answer. It’s easier to sound smart when I reply!
These days, I’m asked about Facebook more than ever. This is because my
rising high school freshman has started lobbying for permission to join
her friends on the social networking site. (Amy, if you’re reading
this, sorry sweetheart. The answer is still, “Not yet.”)
It’s not only age but also maturity that should drive the decision to
let kids join Facebook or use other social networking sites. While
Facebook allows users 13 years and older, I would argue that most
13-year-olds lack the social skills and judgment for social networking.
There are just too many opportunities to make mistakes — many of which
can be serious and have lasting effects.
By now, we’re all well aware of the cyber bullying problems that have
torn apart school communities and even resulted in suicides due to
acute depression on the part of bullying victims. Cyber bullying is
dangerous because the technology allows kids to spread horrible rumors
and levy harmful insults while hiding behind the veil of a virtual
persona. And because of the enormous power of the Internet, a child’s
reputation and self-esteem can be destroyed with the click of a mouse.
As if cyber bullying isn’t reason enough to tread carefully into the
social networking waters, recently the American Academy of Pediatrics
(AAP) released social networking guidelines that warn parents about the
potential for “Facebook depression.” In essence, Facebook can drive
home the point that a child has fewer friends and social opportunities
than his or her peers, because they’re bombarded by status updates,
photos and tallies of friends that prove how much fun everyone else is
having. A lackluster Facebook page can make a young teen feel like a
social outcast.
Still wondering what the right age is for Facebook? Here’s how we
decide at our house:
Look at your child’s life through a wide lens. Is she involved in a
healthy variety of activities, including sports, hobbies, and clubs at
school? If there’s not enough on her plate to keep her busy, Facebook
could become her primary pastime. That wouldn’t be healthy.
Assess your child’s academic performance and work habits. Is he serious
and dedicated enough as a student to withstand the distraction of
Facebook? It can quickly cause a great student to slip into
procrastination and poor study habits.
Make an honest assessment of your child’s maturity level. Is he
impulsive? Does she tend to gossip? Is his humor sometimes
misunderstood by his peers? Does she try too hard to be accepted by the
popular kids? All of these would certainly be amplified by using
Facebook.
If you go forward with the decision to allow a Facebook account, make
it subject to your ongoing supervision. Don’t hestitate to take a break
from Facebook whenever you see things that concern you, and generally,
keep the time for social networking limited and transparent.
Social networking is here to stay. As parents, our job is to introduce
this technology into our children’s lives at an appropriate time,
assuring that they’ve had the chance to grow up in the real world
before they stumble unprepared through cyberspace.
Thanks for reading and sharing Family Events!
Take good care until next week,
Marybeth
Question of the Week: What’s your family policy on Facebook? Do you
have a set age when you allow kids to have an account? If so, are you
on Facebook also to monitor their activities? If you’ve said “no” to
Facebook, what has been the result? Share the parenting wealth on our
Family Events Facebook page.
Read it with last week’s answers, your own answer to this week’s
question, plus links to other parental information at Family Events
|
