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Family Events...
Discipline questions
spark debate, decisions
By Marybeth Hicks
6/23/11
It’s one of the most controversial issues in parenting — to spank or
not to spank. And recently, the issue of spanking landed in the media
thanks to a judge in Texas who declared from the bench, “You don’t
spank children.” Then, he sentenced a mom to five years of felony
probation for doing just that.
The Texas case is probably more complex than the news stories reveal.
Last December, the mother was charged with child endangerment for
spanking her then-two year old daughter. The child’s paternal
grandmother saw red marks on the girl’s rear end and took her to a
doctor. Ultimately, that child and two siblings were removed from the
mother’s home.
We don’t know if there was a history of abuse in this family or what
prompted authorities to remove the children. The judge also ordered the
mom to attend parenting classes, so it’s likely she has a track record
of unskilled parenting.
But the declaration, “You don’t spank children” poses an interesting
question: Should spanking be banned? Wouldn’t such a ban infringe on
our right to discipline our kids as we choose?
In all my years as a columnist and a parenting author, I’ve stayed away
from the issue of spanking because... well, frankly, I don’t want to
answer all that email telling me I don’t know what I’m talking about!
But I think the heart of the matter isn’t how to specifically express
and exercise parental authority, but assuring that such authority is
there in the first place.
I know plenty of parents who never spank their kids and never would.
Yet they can raise an eyebrow and their children know that mom and dad
mean business.
On the other hand, I know parents who spank their kids as a way to
deter dangerous behavior or punish children for disobedience, and these
folks don’t necessarily exude strong parental leadership. Despite the
threat of spankings, their kids push the limits.
Parental authority is the key.
Whether or not you’re a believer in spanking as a legitimate form of
discipline, we all need to recognize that families are strengthened and
children are reassured by strong leadership in the home. When moms and
dads are on the same page with respect to their parenting philosophies,
and when discipline is delivered fairly and consistently along with
clear expectations for acceptable behavior, children thrive and
families experience greater harmony and less mayhem.
The “spanking debate” (there really is such a thing!) continues and
I’ll be very interested to read your comments about this issue on our
Facebook page this week. Be sure to check out our Question of the Week
and get in the discussion!
Thanks for reading and sharing Family Events!
Take good care until next week,
Marybeth
This week’s question: To spank or
not to spank? What’s your opinion? Your insights on our Family Events
Facebook page.
Read the article, plus the responses to last week’s question, at Family Events
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