A Modern Day Tale
By Lyn Bliss
Assistant Editor 

There once was a golden haired, blue-eyed little apple of her parents’ eyes. She was raised knowing she lived in the greatest country in the world and thinking that whatever she wanted to do, if she worked hard enough she would be able to achieve it. 

She went to school, studied hard and sure enough – she graduated with grades that allowed her to go on to college. Where again, she worked hard, got good grades and graduated at the top of her class. 

And, as the American dream of yesteryear went, sure enough, she met the apple of her eye and married him. A few years later, she and her husband added to their family, several apples for their eyes to admire and their hearts to love. 

Both young parents had visions in which they believed. Two have already been mentioned – America, to them, is the greatest country in the world and if you work hard enough anything is possible. 

They also believed that things that are against the law should not be done, caring for ones’ neighbors is part of life’s responsibility, raising children is a full time job – just to name a few. 

They also believed that to get along in the world you have to compromise and learn to work together. 

When they had saved enough money, they bought a house and moved their family to this new home. The neighbors were all similar in interests, had children the same ages as theirs and tended to enjoy the same activities. 

One day, however one of the couples on the block were transferred and their house went up for sale. 

Much to the horror of the current neighborhood population, the home was bought by some people who thought that morals were relative, doing what you want is OK if it feels good and doesn’t really hurt anyone (but, that could be relative, too). It became obvious to the neighborhood that there might be some illegal substances being consumed upon the new owner’s premises, and there were often numerous people on the property partying and otherwise carrying on. Police were called repeatedly, but seemed unable to bring an end to the activities. 

After a while of being “raided” by the police, the new people came to the neighbors and said, we know you do not embrace our lifestyle and that you are bothered by it. However, if you will just work with us and compromise a little, we are sure that we can work it out. If you will just ignore what we do inside of our house – we’ll make sure that everything outside looks just the same as your homes. After all, it is our house and what we do inside should be our business. 

Oh, the neighborhood was ecstatic. A level of compromise had been reached; each side had given a little to come to an agreement with which both could live. 

Things were better and the neighborhood thought all was well. But, then the new neighbors started having loud parties two or three nights a week and they would spill out into the yard. Police were called repeatedly, but nothing was accomplished, other than to end the activities for a while. 

As a result of their parties being disrupted, the new people came to the neighbors and said, we know you do not embrace our lifestyle and that you are bothered by it. However, if you will just work with us and compromise a little, we are sure that we can work it out and we can all get along and live well together. We know we have been having a lot of parties that are spilling over into our yard. However, the weather is so very nice; we know you can understand that it is very hard to stay inside. We would like to party three or four nights a month, but if you will just let us have a yard party on every-other Saturday night, we will make sure that the other nights are quiet. 

Oh, the neighborhood was ecstatic. A level of compromise had been reached; each side had given a little to come to an agreement with which both could live. 

This agreement was honored until the next warm season rolled around. The parties started to become more frequent…….three or four nights a week. And, their children were getting to an age they were starting to notice this lifestyle. Police were called repeatedly, but nothing was accomplished, other than to end the activities for a while. The new neighbors didn’t like their parties interrupted by the police and the rest of the neighborhood did not like the loud parties. 

The new people came to the neighbors and said, we know you do not embrace our lifestyle and that you are bothered by it. However, if you will just work with us and compromise a little, we are sure that we can work it out and we can all get along and live well together. We know we have been having a lot of parties and they seem to bother you. We have made such good friends in town and they really like our hospitality and it is hard to turn them down. We would really like to have them come over whenever they want. But, if we can just have a party every Saturday night, we will really make sure that everything is quiet the rest of the week. 

Oh, the neighborhood was ecstatic. A level of compromise had been reached; each side had given a little to come to an agreement with which both could live. 

The agreement was honored for about a year – it came to be summer and the outdoors beckoned. The parties began again, in earnest.  This time, the neighborhood was really up in arms. Law suits were filed, police were called. All to no avail. The parties continued. 

Finally, the neighborhood went to the new neighbors and asked them what they could do to work out the situation, since before arrangements had always been able to be reached. 

The new neighbors said, oh – we really would like to be good neighbors, but we just have such different life styles that you do not understand nor embrace and you are unwilling to learn our way of life.  We think you are being terribly unsympathetic and biased, but to keep peace in the neighborhood, we will not party on Sunday. 

What do you think the neighborhood did? What do you think will happen when one of the neighborhood children is found dead from an over-dose at one of the parties? 

Over time, a little compromise repeated enough times means the forsaking of the initial principle. So, when I hear people talk about, “We need to compromise and work together.” It seems like a very good idea to be leery – be VERY leery – about what each side is giving up.  Are both sides truly giving something up, or has one side set the stage to give up something they want to make everyone think is important to them, but it is only asking for the whole pie and actually expecting only one piece at this time. Because, they know if they go back to the table enough times, they will end up with the whole pie, maybe the pan and oven thrown in. And, the one who provided the ingredients and baked the pie is standing there empty handed wondering what happened to their pie…….they thought they were just working together and trying to get along by giving in a little. Be leery…….always ask, is there really a reason for the pie to be shared??