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Grumpy
Side of 60
The
virtues of being grumpy
By Bob Robinson
“Hey
Grumpy, how are you?”
“I’m
having a ball! How about you?”
Grumpy
greetings make my day. There have been a
few.
Some
have asked why I call this column the
“Grumpy Side of 60.” It goes back to being a sub at Woodland and trying
to
control a class of 20-plus 5- to 8-year-old students.
I
tried everything. Cajoling, bribery, yelling…
I
have a loud voice when I want to use it. In
the morning it works great, but by afternoon they know I’m a pushover
and it
has little impact.
Little
ones are a lot brighter than we give
them credit for.
I
tried making them feel sorry for me… pure
chaos. Talking, laughing, having a good time. And I’m sitting there,
book in hand,
trying to figure out how to get control. Finally…
“You’re
not giving me a hard time because I’m a
substitute, are you?”
“No!”
In unison, laughing.
Then
they’d go right back to doing what they
were doing before.
A
friend told me about teaching them to “shout”
by waving their hands (without saying a word).
“We
know all about that. Our teacher told us.”
Then
they’d go right back to doing what they
were doing before.
Toward
the end of that first year, I made a
pact with one of the classes. Testing hadn’t started yet, it was a
bright class
– first graders I think – they had their routines down to a fine
science, and
the teacher notes gave me some latitude as long as certain projects
were
completed.
“We’re
going to have fun today.”
“Yay!!!”
Of
course, I always say that… then I try to
figure out how to turn work into “fun.” But this time I meant it.
“We
have to do this, this and this.” I listed
off the assignments. “If we get them done, we’ll play some games this
afternoon.”
“More
recess too?”
“Maybe.
We’ll see.”
“Yay!!!”
The
class was so loud and rambunctious as we
talked about the day that a teacher from down the hall came and closed
our
door…
“We
can hear you on the other side of the
building,” she said. She wasn’t smiling.
Oops.
However,
the kids were true to the pact. We got
the work done and they had a blast that afternoon. Even a few minutes
extra
recess. The problem? That’s seldom an option. Student schedules are
rigorous
and K-2 teachers’ plans are always detailed… extremely detailed.
Then
last fall I discovered something by
accident. A student asked me how old I was.
“How
old do you think I am?”
“50?”
Give
that little girl a gold star!
I
asked the rest of the class how old they
thought I was.
“57!”
“76!” “101!” “112!!!” One wise guy said
“a zillion!” and they all laughed.
“I’m
68.”
“Wow!!!”
Wonderment on 21 tiny faces. “Ooohh…
even my grandpa isn’t that old.” “Wow!”
“Yes.
I’m 68. I’m an old man. Have you ever
heard the term ‘grumpy old man’?”
A
few had. They got serious.
“Are
you a grumpy old man?” a little boy asked.
“I
can be. Do you want me to get grumpy?”
“Uh
uh!!! Ugh! No… no! I don’t want you to get
grumpy!”
I
still had to get grumpy a few times, but it
worked better than anything else I’d tried.
I
saw one of my students earlier this summer.
She gave my kneecaps a hug and said… “I liked it when you were a
substitute but
I didn’t like it when you got grumpy.”
“So
you were good, weren’t you?”
Vigorous
nod and a big smile. “I was good,” she
said. “You didn’t have to get grumpy with me.”
Published
courtesy of The Early Bird
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