From the Other Side of the Edge…..
Amateurs and Liars……
By George Facinoli

What do Katy Perry, Groucho Marx, Vladimir Putin, The Clash, Pinocchio, the Hokey Pokey, and some burning pants, along with a few “highly placed” individuals in Washington,.….all have in common?

Well, perhaps a “possible” conversation at The White House, from this past week, might reveal an answer to that vexing query:

“Yeah,….that’s a GOOD idea!” (“Isn’t it??? ”)

“John,….why would you say that??!!”

“Well,…alright,…uh,….ok,...then let’s do that ! (“Right?”) “That’ll work, …..won’t it??”

“Gee,….do you think the Russians will really do that for us? And we can trust them,…right??” “And Assad always does what he says,….right?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure,….as long as it gets MY ass out of the wringer!”

“But,…..I thought you wanted to ‘kick some ass’, and make everyone forget about Benghazi, and the IRS, and those idiots at the NSA, and Eric Holder?”

“Yeah, I did, but that was sooo, ….yesterday.”

“Alright then. This is our official policy on blowing up Syria,…or,….at least until we see how it all flies in the press, and with Putin and Assad, and anyone else who might not like it.” “I think,….well,…for now anyway,….I’m pretty sure, I think.”

“But,….what about your speech? You know, the one on national television, in primetime, where you’re going to talk about that eminent threat to our country, and the clear and present danger from that impending and ominous threat to our nation’s shores (and all the children), from that ‘Monster of the Middle East’,….Syria??”

“Oh,….yeah. Well, get everyone in here, and start writing, and include a lot of serious sounding stuff, and talk about the children a lot, and almost quote George Bush a few times,….or no,…blame Bush some more, and I’ll just wing it. No one will ever know the difference,….do you think???”

And in the background, turned down low, we can hear (someone plugged their I-Pod into their I-Pad) sweet Miss Katy (an avid Obama supporter, so her music is approved listening) belting out one of her biggies: “You’re yes, then you’re no,…you’re in, then you’re out,…you’re wrong when it’s right….”

Who knew she meant something so politically prescient, when that one was topping the charts??

She also mentions: “You, …change your mind,…like a girl,…changes clothes”, but now I’m just piling on.

So what did happen, on the way to the bank? The Prez had it all locked up,….what gives?

Big international, humanitarian “crisis” popped up, just at the right time, to be a huge distraction from the incessant questioning, on and on about all the “phony” crises at home.

The various media (who seem to like to follow shiny objects, when flashed quickly before them, especially when told it is very important, or has grave social value/consequences, or something to do with “sexting”, or pictures of some politician’s private parts, on twitter) were all on board, and selling hard and serious.

And the President, along with all of his many minions, were on full court press status, moving in unison, blustering hard and threatening all the right stuff, directed at some “nobody” foe (or foes, you never know), who they just knew could never stand up to the mighty, mighty U.S. of A.

BHO even had his mean and nasty, “I mean serious business” stare going on, and he was not to be denied. Just ask him.

So,…..what happened? To such a perfect plan of action (for him, anyway).

Well, all of a sudden, that “nobody”, from nowhere, Bashar al-Assad, President, and General Secretary (and head waiter, every Thursday night, at Denny’s), of that massive Middle Eastern powerhouse,…..Syria,….did in fact stand up, ……and stared right back.

And guess who blinked? Hint: It wasn’t the Chief Potentate, and Head Camel Jockey.

Of course, it didn’t hurt that Assad had the only other of the world’s “block bullies”, Russia, sitting on the fence behind him, but stand up, yes he did.

So, from full court press, and twenty points up, to full panic mode, and near desperation time, for the guys in the Red, White, and Blue (or at least for the people pretending to be in charge of those in the Red, White, and Blue).

Man,…what should they do now? Oops, hadn’t really thought that far ahead.

Thought they might lob a few rockets in there, and everyone would just fall down on their knees.

Doesn’t happen that way anymore, boys and girls, not after the leader of the greatest nation the world has ever known, spends the first two years of his presidency apologizing to anyone who would listen, for all the “terrible things” that his country may, or may not, have done to anyone, at any time in our history.

Sort of changes the response, and the reactions. And makes everyone in the world an equal. Good in philosophy, ….not so good in diplomacy and military strategy.

Amateurs.

Reminds me of a scene from “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid”, after Butch & Sundance have moved to Bolivia, and are trying to go straight, and get jobs that don’t involve getting chased by the “policia” so often.

They’ve hired on as payroll guards for a mining company, and while on the way down the mountain, on their way to pick up the weekly pay satchels, the two of them are seeing and imagining robbers behind every tree and rock.

Their boss, hearing this nonsense, turns around and says to them: “Morons. I’ve hired morons! No one is going to hold us up before we pick up the money,….only on our way back!!!”

Butch and the Kid hadn’t stopped to think about it much, ya see, because they had no experience in this line of work. So, even though it was very obvious to anyone, the mistake they were making, it had never occurred to them.

Similarly, when good ol’ John (Best in Show) Kerry, our “try as he might” Secretary of State, gave an off the cuff answer to a frustrated reporter’s near rhetorical question, at a press conference last week, he was not prepared for what his words would set in motion.

His “throw away” response (read: gaffe) to the question of what could Syria could do to avoid our missile attacks: “Well, if they gave us all their chemical weapons”, was just the thing that a smart cookie like Vladdy (the Vulture) Putin might be looking for.

He swooped in a heartbeat, before the DC gang could even call a timeout. And what they really wanted was to call a “do-over”, but it was already too late.

The “Pros from Dover” were in town now, and they were large and in charge.

The novices could only watch, and try to shun blame for the dueling gaffes/blunders (i.e., that “Red Line” in the sand thing, and the “give us all your WMDs, and we’ll go away” thing), made by the two most important diplomats we have.

That would be Obama and Kerry. The ones with no clue.

So, now back safe and snug in the Oval Office, or nearby, its denizens are trying to figure out exactly what hit them. And that speech, that once potential “seminal moment” for this President, was now just an awkward inconvenience, which they also couldn’t figure out, and how to get out of.

That staffer’s I-Pod is now pumping out The Clash’s big hit, “Should I stay, or should I go, (I don’t know)”, while a random TV is playing an old Groucho classic, “Animal Crackers”, where he delivers the line: “I came to say,….that I must be going.”

I know, they don’t make a lot of sense. But that’s the point here, and what we’re stuck with.

Clueless amateurs. Feckless pretenders. And shameless liars.

Would not be surprising, at the next big White House gala, if we saw Pinocchio his ownself (he of the growing nose, as each fib he told made it ever longer), doing the Hokey Pokey with all of these bad actors.

You remember the Hokey Pokey, yes? That favorite kid’s dance, where “you put your right foot in, you put your right foot out” followed by a lot of shaking of random feet, and turning of oneself, all around and about, you know, sort of like the S.O.P. of this administration.

And as they hold hands, in a circle, doing this little frolic, perhaps one of them might be struck with a bolt of veracity, and shout: “Liar, liar, pants on fire! ”, to whomever it might be appropriate (and that would be,….many).

“Pants on fire”, by the way, is a euphemism for getting a spanking, for telling those wicked and hurtful lies.

Something (or worse) that all of these egregious players badly need, on their way out the door (or to jail),…..permanently.

Joe Facinoli

-Joe can be reached at: joefacinoli@gmail.com )
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© Copyright 2013, Joe Facinoli