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Am I Worthy?
By Will McCabe
The word “worthy” is thrown around a lot, and while it may seem
fascinating to think about, such as with being “worthy” to lift Thor’s
hammer or “worthy” to pull a sword from a stone, this concept of
“worthiness” causes problems in real life.
For most, if not all of us, we encounter moments of our life when we
screw up. It’s during these moments in which we realize our
imperfections and believe we must be worse than all other people.
That is how it often starts. Most frequently it’s when we have a
personality trait or behavior. Maybe you’re a forgetful waiter, a
clumsy carryout, a shy introvert amongst a school of extroverts,
whatever the case may be, we feel we are incapable to do what is asked,
making us feel inadequate.
Sometimes it’s because of more serious actions, like a sin we committed
years ago that you can’t let go, maybe you feel you failed a person in
his/her life, or maybe you feel you aren’t living up to impossible
expectations set by yourself or others.
There are some who truly believe they just don’t feel like God could
forgive them, that they’ve just screwed up so much that it’s
unforgivable, that they are just too bad of a person.
How many of you walk down a street or in a grocery store and see
someone with shabbier clothing, have you tried to ignore that person’s
presence? Or when you hear of someone who’s done something wrong, do
you ever harp on that person that what he/she did was deplorable?
I’ll be the first to admit to do this, and I’ve seen how truly hurtful
this is. However, it’s your turn: when have you acted this way? Have
you ever looked down upon someone, chastised, or acted condescending
towards anyone?
I think what truly showed me the gravity or weight of this issue was
when, in my Abnormal Psychology course, we covered two chapters
back-to-back: Depression and Suicide. “19 percent of all adults
experience an episode of severe unipolar depression at some point in
their lives” (Comer, 2013). Not only that, but according to the CDC,
suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S.
I bring up these facts to show how if you feel like you’re worthless or
can’t do anything right, you AREN’T ALONE. Even I have been told by
some that I’m a liar, a square, a loser, a screw-up, and it used to
really get to me. There are still times when I feel like I’m not good
enough to be able to write articles for an online paper or feel like
I’m failing as a Christian.
The solution or remedy isn’t some magic, instantaneous cure that will
remove all crummy feelings. Instead, it’s a process that takes time,
and I won’t guarantee you will never feel sad again.
The idea is to re-examine your feeling of worthlessness and how you
view it. If perfection=worth, then you would find everyone sitting on a
shelf at a discount store. What makes you valuable isn’t how well or
badly you do things, but you’re valuable because you’re you.
Going into the more religious aspect, we have to be worth something if
God was willing to sacrifice Himself through Jesus for us. The Bible
describes us being made in His image, so isn’t that worth something?
Despite being imperfect and sinful beings, God still loves us and wants
to have a relationship with us, giving up His Son as a way for us to
get past our sins, get past our feelings of hopelessness or
worthlessness, and finally have our lives focused on what really
matters.
Whenever I feel less than perfect or feel I’m not living up to
standards, I read Isaiah 6:5-8, where Isaiah cries out to God: “Woe is
me, for I am ruined, because I am a man of unclean lips and live among
a people of unclean lips.” However, God sent a seraph (angel) who puts
a burning coal on his lips and said “Now that this has touched your
lips, your wickedness is removed, and your sin is atoned for.” Isaiah
then hears the Lord say: “Who should I send? Who will go for Us?”
Isaiah responds with “Here I am. Send me.”
While I would love to write on, unfortunately an article isn’t supposed
to be this long. However, if you are battling with feeling hopeless,
worthless, or just sad, I would recommend seeing a pastor or
psychological professional. A great getaway I would highly recommend
partaking in is Chrysalis for teenagers or the Emmaus Walk for older
adults. For more information, check out “Darke County Emmaus” on
Facebook or the website at chrysalis.upperroom.org for the Chrysalis
website and www.dcaec.org for the Emmaus website for Darke County.
I recently went to Chrysalis, despite being 20, and there were several
events which helped remind me how not just God, but complete strangers
who somehow care so much about me and my well-being, and I can freely
admit it brought tears to my eyes.
To conclude, remember Isaiah, who despite his sin, was forgiven and
made into a prophet specially chosen by God. Even if you feel like you
won’t amount to anything, just remember of the Person who made you,
died for you, watches, and waits for you to return to Him.
You are worth something to Him.
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