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Answering Life’s Biggest Questions
Dump the SUV…
Minivans make magic
By Abigail Fischer and Katie DeLand
Dear A+K,
I am currently pregnant and due with #3..... I am struggling with
whether to enter the minivan world or to stand strong and continue the
SUV swagger. Help!
Sincerely,
Living the Dream
Dear Living the Dream,
Coming from two moms that drive minivans LIKE ITS OUR JOB, we say go
for it. Don't stand strong and breathe through the temptation: save
that for laboring the baby. Minivans make magic happen. Let's discuss.
First and foremost, vans come equipped with two of the most
life-changing contraptions you will ever experience in your life:
sliding doors. Put these bad boys on a Taurus, and we would buy
them in bulk. Long gone will be the days where you open the doors
into your child's head, slam into the millions of outside riding
toys/bikes in your garage or hear cries of needing help to GET
IN. Even better, the latest models have buttons that do virtually
all of the work for you. After you take your rightful place at
the driving throne, you can sit back and hit these wonderful buttons
without heaving yourself up and around at every sports
drop-off. Honestly, it's the little things.
The space. Ahhhhh- everyone can breathe! No more window
seat battles. No one has to TOUCH. Yes, other SUVs have
third-row seating, but as fully-grown, educated adults, we can't
understand which levers to pull to ever get back there and usually just
resolve to toss the kid over, crossing your fingers that they are
buckling up at all. The minivan layout is every mom's dream,
where little aisleways just guide your child to wear they need to
be. The trunk is even better. If you are anything like us,
you haggardly find yourself fleeing from the grocery store, barely
alive with a screaming kid on one hip and pushing a dump truck of milk
and Lunchables (please reference earlier articles). You open your
trunk or… wait for it...push yet another button, and realize that NO
ONE unpacked from last night's soccer game. Lawn chairs, a
condensing cooler and muddy pairs of cleats laugh at you. With a
van, no problem. These things are built to haul enough crap to
build the next Egyptian Pyramid. And, depending on your make and model,
your van may also have underground storage- can you say GENIUS?!
Back to the issue at hand.... if you are a patient, logical person, you
re-arrange a bit to make sensical space. If you are like US, you
have no time for this process and just pile up and work with what you
have. Bags are crammed in between metal arm chairs, cereal
boxes are strewn down deep into side crevices and produce is plopped on
what you hope is only muddy shoes. Another click of a button and
some holding of breath later, and the trunk magically closes and clicks
shut. A serious, Divine miracle.
Now, when we were in the market for our own Mom-mobiles, we repulsed at
the idea of the entertainment system. A TV in the car?
No. Absolutely not. We told ourselves that in times of boredom,
we would patiently encourage them to look for wildlife out the window
or pull out an Encylopedia and educate their minds.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA. We caved, and so should you. You will
undoubtedly set "limits" on when and how often the tv will be used--
"only on long road trips, special occasions and if you guys are all
being REALLY good." HAHAHHAHAHHAHA. These special occasions will
eventually evolve into your daily preschool trips, and the tell-tale
glow of the screen will light up as soon as the car ignites. So
sit back, enjoy the sounds of "Despicacle Me 2" and learn to love the
characters for the peace they bring to your errands.
In short- you won't be cool. You won't be yuppie. You will
walk past your van and pretend the two-seater Solstice is yours when a
herd of twenty-somethings follow you out to the parking lot.
However your every days will be better, and you can daydream about the
day when five-point harnesses aren't buckled to every imaginable seat
and the floor isn't covered in goldfish crumbs. But mentally, you
will panic at the thought of ever outgrowing the need for these
conventional masterpieces.
Sincerely,
A+K
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