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Answering Life’s Biggest Questions
Surviving the
full-blown reality of summer
By Abigail Fischer and Katie DeLand
Dear A+K:
I know you guys are excited about summer break, but as a full-time
SAHM, I am a little apprehensive. The days get so long, and
without structure, I lose my mind. Any tips?
Sincerely,
Sun Weary
Dear Weary:
Who are we kidding? We enjoy not waking up for the bus and
packing lunches for about six days, and then the full-blown reality of
June, July and August hits. Bam. Mornings aloof with cereal
crackling underfoot, Shimmer and Shine blaring on the TV and the smell
of yesterday's "S'mores on the Porch" streaming through the window. At
around 9a, you hit your wall, and realize that you are looking at the
next 11 hours of full-blown daylight.
We have tried about everything, but here are some nuggets of solid gold:
Playgroups: Find one or form one. Moms need allies, and as
much as it intimidates you to reach out through your church or school,
it's gonna be a lot more painful to brave park days alone. Kids
strangely get easier when they are in mass droves, and while you watch
the pack of hyenas barrel from merry-go-round to teeter-totter, you can
sit on your bench and talk about why you can't lose your baby weight
with- gasp- other adults (as you continuously pop iced animal crackers
in your mouth).
Every Church/Bible School in the Tri-County Area: Listen, there
can't be THAT much deviation from the classic stories that would
disrupt your child's entire theology. Whether you are Catholic,
Lutheran, Baptist or whatever, as long as the fundamentals are there,
it can't reallyyyyyy hurt to send him along with the neighbor boy for a
few nights one week.
Slip-N-Slide/Sprinkler/Baby Pool: We hate the set up, and our
husbands hate when we accidentally scorch the grass from leaving
unbreathable tarps on the lawn for hours. Buttt....kids love
them. Make it a part of an obstacle game somehow, and kick back
and watch your the mud puddles form.
Daily Chores: Yeah, we are starting to sound a whole lot like the
Pinterest moms that we scoff at, but rest assured- we will never
be. However, when the house is an absolute sty, there is no
chance for you to be in a good mood. Making your kids organize their
Legos or re-stock their fake food pantry will do a soul good. On
the plus side, after the initial wailing and flailing, kids get lost in
their task and end up actually PLAYING for an unexpected and gloriously
long time.
The Pool: Please see description of playgroup and insert water
terminology. Just make sure you know there will be other friends
there and ensure that at least one adult is responsible enough to
detect signs of drowning.
Okay, that is about all we got. There really isn't a lot that
makes the days go faster, but the following WILL add 19 hours to any
one hot July afternoon:
-Water Balloons: the five seconds of fun will NEVER make up for the
hour t takes to fill each up, find each tiny plastic piece or calm the
tears of a balloon-thrown-too-hard at your youngest.
-The Zoo: unless you arrive at 7:45 before half of the
metropolitan area that is still eating Toaster Strudels, you will be
miserable and hot by mid-morning. And bonus: so will the
animals. They will all lay in the shade the furthest possible
spot away from where you are standing while your kid has a mental break
down about not seeing the tiger. We love our wildlife, but plan
these visits for the spring or fall. You're welcome.
-Picnics: again, these are best in conjunction with a playgroup or part
of a larger activity. Unless you are channeling your inner Maria
from the Sound of Music, sitting around with a guitar on an Austrian
mountainside to sing harmonized songs is not happening. Instead,
you will pack and prepare food for 45 minutes only to arrive and hear
things like, "This blanket is so scratchy!" "The water spilled
over my sandwich!" "Why does HE get to use that lunchbox?!" If a
true picnic day is a priority, we advise to chose your beverage wisely.
Good luck! Let's reconvene Labor Day and compare battle wounds.
Sincerely,
A+K
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