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Start Talking!
Know! To Get
YOUR Cell Phone Use in Check
1/10/2017
Teens spend an average of nine hours a day on their smartphones. Yes -
you say - you’ve heard it before, you know it’s unhealthy for them for
a number of reasons, and you have rules in place to reduce their screen
time. Very good; you’ve got your child’s phone use in check, but how
about yours?
According to Common Sense Media, the average parent spends nearly as
much time on their phone as their tweens and teens – and no, it’s not
all about work. Adults reportedly spend about 1 1⁄2 work-related hours
on their phones each day, but as for the other 7 1⁄2 hours, we’re
spending it just like our children; texting, playing games, watching
videos, listening to music, shopping and checking social media.
ThinkstockPhotos-477207826.jpgPicture this: The school day has just
ended and parents are lined up in the parking lot, waiting for their
children. One child jumps into her dad’s car, excited to tell him about
acing her math test. But before she can even speak, dad gives her the
“hold-on-a-minute” signal and continues on with his phone conversation.
In another car a mom scrolls through Facebook, liking and commenting on
pictures and posts from her “friends,” while her younger child in the
back seat tries over and over again to get her attention. In yet
another car, a mom and dad sit together, waiting for their child. But
instead of talking to each other, one is texting and the other is
checking email. Sound familiar?
While cell phones are fantastic at keeping us connected, entertained,
up-to-date and a whole lot more, they can also serve as a huge
distraction in our daily lives, our work and specifically in our
parenting, as seen in the above examples.
In fact, many experts agree that cell phones are ruining families’
lives. The reasoning behind it comes from studies like the one led by
Catherine Steiner-Adair Ed.D., a clinical instructor in the department
of psychiatry at Harvard. Based on interviews with more than 1,000
children ages four to 18, she tells us:
Kids hate our screens: Children say they feel frustrated, sad and angry
that they are regularly having to compete with digital devices for
their parents’ attention. Being “put on hold” by a parent, for example,
so that he or she can continue on with a casual phone call or catch up
with “friends” on social media, basically says to a child that the
person on the other end of the phone or post is more important.
Just because we can connect to work 24/7, doesn’t mean we should: Being
a good employee shouldn’t mean your employer has instant access to you
at any given time; yet this is a common reason parents give for
remaining “plugged-in” during family time. Feeling like you’re always
“on-call” makes it hard to relax and even enjoy time spent with family
– and that may put your other job at risk – your job of being a good
parent.
Screens aren’t good for marriages, and that’s not good for kids: When
you and your significant other are together with a moment of a free
time, do you find yourselves on your phones instead of interacting with
each other? If so, you’re not alone. But if such behavior is regular
and ongoing, it can cause problems to arise in your relationship. This
not only affects you and your partner, but your children as well. Plus,
research has proven time and again that children learn behaviors
modeled by their parents.
This is not likely an example you’d want your children to follow in
their personal relationships.
How do we fix it? Maintain balance and boundaries in both our personal
and professional lives and set reasonable and appropriate limits on our
phone use for the good of our families and ourselves. Because, as we
know, the time we have to parent and raise our children is limited. And
when that time is gone, it’s gone.
Learn how to get the conversation started at StartTalking.Ohio.Gov.
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