|
|
 |
|
The views expressed on this page are soley
those of the author and do not
necessarily represent the views of County
News Online
|
 |
Broke Wife, Big City
Preschool
By Aprill Brandon
There are a lot of private decisions you make as a parent that you hope
and pray never become public, else it makes you look like a bad parent.
Like, say, letting them wear the same clothes three days in a row. Or
giving them crackers and jelly beans for dinner because you can’t
handle one more tantrum. Or letting them watch that third “Sesame
Street” episode so you can finish emailing your editor and fold the
clean laundry that has been sitting on the rocking chair for four days
straight.
And then there are the decisions you make that make you wonder if maybe
you truly are a bad parent.
Like, say, for instance, do I really need to send my child to preschool?
I know. I know! I can’t believe I just typed that either. I’m currently
hunched over my keyboard, my whole body tense, waiting for the
inevitable knock on the door from Child Protective Services.
But let me type just one more sentence before you throw the handcuffs
on me…
I Googled local preschool prices.
Can you put the handcuffs away now? If you say yes, then I know you
have at one point Googled local preschool prices. If you say no, do me
a favor and Google local preschool prices. I’ll give you a moment...
...I know, right!? Unbelieveable.
And for the majority of you who are going along with my gag but not
actually Googling anything, let me share with you what I discovered.
Because I actually did research. Like a grown up. And like most
research (bacon and alcohol are bad for you!), the results were
depressing.
According to a 2016 study by the Economic Policy Institute, the costs
of full-time childcare for a 4-year-old was higher than the cost for
in-state college tuition in 23 states. Including my current state of
residence, Massachusetts, which was one of the most expensive. On
average, to send my precious angel to preschool will cost $12,781 per
year.
But I could save over $2,000 if I just sent him straight to college.
And while Riker is exceptionally talented at Apple Juice Pong, I’m
pretty sure they expect you to be able to wipe your own butt at college
(weird fraternity pledge rituals notwithstanding).
Ever since he turned three, this issue has been keeping me up at night.
What kind of monster denies their child a good education? Regardless of
how much it costs? Who needs two arms AND two legs when your
offspring’s very future is on the line?
Which is why I was so relieved when I started complaining to my very
smart and very well-educated friend about my preschool dilemma and she
responded that although they’re keeping it very quiet, she and her
husband decided not to send her kid to preschool.
“You can do that!? Can I do that? Is that allowed?” I practically
yelled back.
She laughed but it does feel like preschool is an unofficial
requirement at this point. I have nightmares where I start teaching my
son how to write his name and preschool teachers in bright sweaters
kick down my door and rip the crayon from his chubby little hands.
“Literacy is only for actual students! Go watch more garbage TV, tiny
peasant!” they scream at him before covering him with frowny face
stickers.
And the very fact she said they are “keeping it quiet” kind of proves
my point.
But I didn’t go to preschool. And I turned out fine, she types while
sipping wine through a straw and binge-watching the entire “Dawson’s
Creek” series for the 45th time.
And yes, I know there is a long laundry list of benefits from
preschool. I majored in education in addition to journalism so I quite
literally read the book on it. But I also know that $12,000 isn’t just
a “hardship” for us at this particular moment in our economic reality.
It’s likely impossible.
So, I’ve spent the last five months weighing our options. We could
always try part-time preschool perhaps, or maybe hunt down a discount
early education center, like BoBo’s Preschool Kidz Barn or something.
I could try teaching him myself, but will my efforts, along with
library story-time and playing on a soccer team and random play dates
at the park and playground, be enough for what he needs to learn both
academically and socially? On the other hand, if we do scrape enough
money together to send him to a decent preschool, is it worth it if we
can no longer afford family trips to museums and the occasional dinner
out to a restaurant and airplane tickets to visit our families?
I could go back to work full-time instead of freelance writing, which
doesn’t pay much currently. But then we’d have to send his younger
sister to a daycare too, effectively doubling our childcare costs. Or
maybe my husband could get a second part-time job, just temporarily, to
cover the costs. Although, as mentioned above, we don’t have family
close by and it’s already hard enough to take care of the kids on my
own with the longish hours he already works. Not to mention, I need the
nights and weekends to do my writing and oh my god, WHY DO THEY MAKE IT
SO HARD IN THIS COUNTRY TO RAISE A FAMILY!?
And that, ultimately, is the crux of the issue. Families all over this
country are having similar dilemmas, these either/or situations,
because there is no longer enough money to go around. Technically we’re
considered middle class, but thanks to things like student loan debt
and years of stagnant wages and living in an expensive albeit wonderful
city, we still struggle. We still rent (and pay way too much for rent
but who can afford a down payment on a house?). We own one ancient car.
All our furniture is from 2002. We have a savings account but no
college fund for either kid. We have health insurance but no retirement
plan. Enough discretionary income for the occasional pizza but not
enough for a real vacation.
And our financial issues are pretty benign in the long run. Other
families are having to make decisions between much needed medication
and decent food. Or getting further in debt to move out of their crappy
neighborhood to one with a decent school district and parks not
littered with needles. Or finding a third job but then never seeing
their kids.
It seems our family, just like so many other American families these
days, can no longer afford the American dream.
I suppose I should end this with a joke since I’m a humor writer by
trade, but after re-reading what I just wrote, none of this seems very
funny anymore.
Can’t get enough of Aprill? Can’t wait until next week?
Check out her website at http://aprillbrandon.com/
|
|
|
|
