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Start Talking!
Know! To Foster
Empathy for Bullying Prevention
10/18/2017
In a previous tip, Know! The End of Bullying Begins With YOU, we
learned that in 2016, more than one in five students reported being
bullied. Regardless of what position a child is in - a target, bully,
or bystander – they are at an increased risk for a variety of mental
health and behavioral problems, including substance abuse.
In addition to positive role modeling and conversations specifically
telling our children, “It is never okay to hurt, harm or humiliate
another person with your words or behavior,” we can further help
prevent bullying by fostering empathy.
Empathy is the power to understand perspectives other than your own;
the ability to recognize and share the emotions of another person.
Essentially it is, “walking a mile in someone else’s shoes.”
Experts say empathy is an essential life skill that all youth should be
taught to master, and that youth who are more empathetic tend to
perform better in school and have healthier relationships. It is a
popular belief, in fact, that a person’s emotional intelligence or
emotional quotient (E.Q.), which includes one’s ability to empathize,
carries more weight than a person’s intelligence quotient (I.Q.) when
it comes to determining one’s overall success in life.
Empathy is also an essential factor in teaching youth what bullying is
and how NOT to engage in it.
Here are some ways to teach and strengthen young people’s ability to
empathize:
Make sure your child’s emotional needs are being met: It is hard for
young people to treat others with understanding and kindness when they
do not feel loved or appreciated themselves. It is very common for
youth to bully others when they’re feeling insecure or envious (due to
grades, sports or popularity- for example). To help your child avoid
such feelings, strive to be a warm and loving parent and celebrate who
your child is, instead of focusing on who he or she is not.
Make certain your child can identify and share their feelings: The idea
here is to get your son or daughter to express their feelings – even
the negative ones – without tantrums, violence or bullying. When youth
can recognize and talk about their own feelings, they will be better
equipped to identify and understand similar feelings in others.
Encourage your son or daughter to explore others’ perspectives: Teach
your child to be open-minded and look at a situation from another
person’s point of view. For instance, refer to the elderly man you saw
at the grocery store struggling to push his cart, then ask your teen to
imagine how much more challenging it is for him to do that and other
simple tasks we take for granted. Youth who learn to become more
sensitive to the experiences and feelings of others are much more
likely to understand how the special needs student, for example, might
feel in different situations at school – and less likely to target them.
Model empathy and engage youth using everyday opportunities: As we all
know; actions speak louder than words. When you make dinner for a
neighbor whose loved one passed away, explain why you’re responding the
way you are, then have your child go with you to deliver it. When you
go through your kids’ outgrown clothes to donate to those in need, talk
about who their clothes benefit and how they are improving another
young person’s situation.
Teach your child to find common ground with others and imagine their
feelings: Research shows that youth are more likely to feel empathetic
toward another if they can somehow relate to how that person might be
feeling. Remind your child, for example, how hurt they were when they
weren’t invited to a friend’s party. Now help them make the connection
to imagine how the girl who sits alone at lunch every day must feel;
your child may now be more inclined to invite them to sit at their
table.
Talk to your child about how their behavior impacts others: Make sure
your teen understands how cruel and damaging it can be to gossip and
spread rumors about someone, whether it’s true or false. Talk to them
about how even posting a fun picture of the party they attended could
be quite hurtful to those who weren’t invited.
While some youth are naturally more empathetic than others, it is truly
a skill that can be fostered and strengthened. As parents, it is our
responsibility to teach
our children to look beyond themselves to be more mindful,
understanding, respectful and considerate of other people’s complex
emotions, feelings and experiences.
Remember to follow Start Talking! on Twitter and Like us on Facebook.
Learn how to get the drug prevention conversation started at
StartTalking.Ohio.Gov.
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