|
|
|
The views expressed on this page are
solely
those of the author and do not
necessarily represent the views of County
News Online
|
|
Courtesy of Sesame Workshop
NPR
When Will This Be Over? Sesame Workshop's Tips For Parenting During A Pandemic
Cory Turner & Anya Kamanetz
May 12, 2020
Parents, let's be honest: Many of us are struggling right now.
Some have lost loved ones to COVID-19; many of us have lost jobs. And
nearly all of us have spent the past two months juggling new parenting
responsibilities as our children stay home and schools shift online.
In March, NPR's Life Kit team put together this guide to help parents
navigate the tumultuous early days of the pandemic. But in the
intervening weeks, the challenges have changed. So we checked in with
Rosemarie Truglio, a developmental psychologist and senior vice
president of curriculum and content at Sesame Workshop, to gather
wisdom you can use during this current phase.
(And Grover has some advice just for kids, coming soon.)
When is this gonna be over?
At the beginning of the pandemic, kids' questions were often easy
enough to explain with a little science. What is COVID-19? Easy. How
can we keep from getting it? There are no guarantees, but hand-washing
works wonders!
Now, however, the top question in the minds of many kids — and adults —
is, when will the coronavirus crisis end? And that one is mysterious
and unexplainable. Still, it requires an honest answer, says Truglio,
one that's hard for some parents to say: "I don't know."
But don't stop there. Shift the conversation by asking, "What do we
have control over now?" And then plan an activity that's fun, that your
kids can look forward to and that you can control, pandemic be darned.
One example: Go camping — in a nearby state park, in your backyard or
even in your living room. Pitch a tent, roast marshmallows (on the
stovetop if you have to) and gaze up at the stars — even if you have to
cut them out and tape them to the ceiling.
What matters in this confusing, indefinite time, Truglio says, is that
kids feel some sense of control and have something happy they can mark
on the calendar. There have been so many great examples of families
getting creative to mark milestones and special occasions — drive-by
birthday parades, graduation yard signs, even a DIY trip to Disney
World.
Forgive yourself
We all need to forgive our kids when they cross a line now and then.
But you also need to forgive yourself if you don't always handle their
misbehavior with the optimal amount of patience and grace. Most of us
are not at our best right now, and that's OK.
"We're human beings, and we're going to lose it. All of us, even
myself," Truglio says. For her, it was when she was working from home
and her Wi-Fi went out. Her son tried to console her by giving her a
hug, but what she really needed was some space.
To make sure we lose it less often, Truglio says, try to take a
breather whenever you start to feel overwhelmed by a situation — just
put a door between yourself and your child for a minute or two and
practice some deep breathing. Also, be sure to recharge your batteries
by scheduling a little me-time here and there; maybe it's watching your
favorite show once the kids are in bed or taking a hot bath while
another grown-up in the house looks after the kids.
If you've never tried meditation — or you've not made time for it
lately — we can't recommend it enough. Even 10 minutes of quiet can do
wonders for your pandemic-thinned patience.
But if you do lose it with your kids, Truglio says, the important part
is that you model the process of making amends. Truglio went back to
her son, apologized and got that hug after all.
Build kids' resilience and self-sufficiency
Many of us feel torn and guilty as we try to balance our kids' needs
with our bosses' demands. A lot of the time it feels like the only way
out is to hand our young ones a screen. But Truglio says this is an
opportunity to parent differently, in a way that equips our children
with essential life skills.
"This is not a time for kids to think that they can have their parents'
100% attention," says Truglio. "It's so important for children to build
what we call resiliency skills. And part of resiliency skills is to
have them cope with disappointment and frustration."
It's OK to say, "I just can't be with you right now, and I trust you to figure this out."
"Let kids have the space to be creative problem-solvers. Because when
you remove yourself and have them be much more self-sufficient, they
are developing these important critical thinking skills. You're
empowering them to be problem-solvers."
These days, Truglio says, many kids are so reliant on the adults in
their lives that "they're afraid to make a mistake because they think
that mistakes are bad. And we need to flip the script on that as well
and say, 'That's how you learn!' "
Schoolwork isn't the only way to learn at home
We've heard from many parents concerned that their children aren't
learning enough in this time of emergency remote instruction. Teachers
and school budgets are spread thin, and often, even the kids who are
fortunate enough to have computers and access to Wi-Fi aren't getting
more than an hour or two of instruction each day.
To that, we say, focus on the things you can control. Truglio has some
good news here: Our homes are already full of potential learning
experiences.
Cooking together, for example: "You have a literacy component because
we're reading the recipes. We're reading ingredients. It's a math
moment as we're measuring. It's a science moment as different
substances are changing because of the properties of matter."
Board games — which we've explored before as a rich way to teach math —
can also build kids' ever important social-emotional skills, helping
them grapple with concepts of fairness, chance, strategy and practice.
Different families, different rules
Sesame Street's Grover On Coping During Coronavirus: Just For Kids
As lockdowns soften and rules change around the U.S., families might
disagree about some things — like whether to get takeout or when to
wear a mask.
This can be confusing for children. If your child sees other kids
playing together in the park, for example, she may think you're being
unfair — or even mean — for not letting her do the same.
When you explain, Truglio says, "it's about putting a positive spin on
this: 'These rules are put in place by our family because we need to
make sure that we're staying healthy.' "
The more your child hears that these rules are about helping — that
they are empowered to be helpers — the easier it will be for them to
understand and ultimately embrace them. Truglio suggests something
like, "'We need everyone in the family to do their part. And so this is
why you're playing such an important role!' "
|
|
|
|
