What's God Got To Do With It
That’s A'more!
By Nancy Livingston

While shopping this week, I noticed the very large display of Valentine's Day cards. When it comes to cards there's no such thing as "one cards fits all". You'll never see a person just grab one off the rack and go. Neither do I! I'll stand there and read through each one, looking for the one card that not only expresses what I want to say, but that best describes the person I'm getting it for! I'll pick up a card, get to that second line and then put the card back in a hurry...nope that ain't the one! So here it is Valentine's Day, the holiday where cards are especially romantic, mushy, and syrupy sweet! I picked up a card titled, "To my Husband on Valentine's Day" As I read, I thought to myself, "Wow...do most spouses really feel that way about each other?" Or are these cards merely presenting us with what an "ideal" marriage relationship should look like? 

Marriage.... what's God got to do with it? Well for starters, He instituted it! Genesis 2:24, " Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Matthew 19:6, " So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. " Seems like today, marriage has become little more than an upgraded social contract, with an easy way out at the slightest provocation. But this is not the way Scripture intended it. God considers marriage a covenant, solemn and binding, the way our very flesh is bound together. And the two become one flesh. According to Scripture, the covenant of marriage is so intimately woven, it's an analogy of Christ and His bride, the church, of which are inseparable! How might our own marriages be better if we saw marriage the way God sees it? Knowing that marriage is a long term commitment, how might we make it the best it can be? God has an answer! Ephesians 5:25 & 28, "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her" "In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies." 

Woah.... now that's something I might consider, the next time I don't care for the way my spouse is acting toward me! However, If I'm going to use Scripture as a weapon, I'd do well to understand that God has some guidelines for me as well! Ephesians 5:22, "Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord" Hmmm...am I the only one with a tendency to bristle at the word "submit"? Doesn't that seem a little harsh? Well, let's see...as wives, we are called to submit to our husbands, while our husbands are merely asked to die for their wives. Well...that seems fair enough! The fact is, I often see in myself, a failure to submit! I get stubborn, dig in my heels, and often contend with my husband's decisions. So, what is God's response to my being contentious? Proverbs 25:24, " Better to live in a corner of the roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman. " And in Proverbs 27:15, " A quarrelsome wife is like a dripping faucet on a rainy day". Ouch~ 

So then, what do we wives do about "him"? How should I respond to those times when my spouse isn't loving me as he loves himself? How can Scripture call a man to die for his wife, if he won't even live for her? What's God's response to me on that one? Proverbs 10:12,"Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses". Sooo, when all I can think about are the ways he has offended me, I'm loving him wrongly, and will only create more tension in the relationship. How do I lighten up and let love cover his offenses? By taking into account that my sin shows too! By admitting that he has as good a reason to be as frustrated with me as I am with him (hard as that is to believe) See how easy it is to put on the Pharisee hat, ladies? 

Maybe the cards are giving us a picture of what loving each other rightly looks like! Because when I am loving my husband rightly, choosing gratitude rather than grumbling, mercy rather than malice, grace rather than grievances, I start feeling those things the Valentine's cards are referring to. I start feeling kinda romantic, mushy, and syrupy toward him! And if so...then, why am I sitting here at the computer, when I could be out browsing through Valentine's cards! You know what? I'll bet if I look, I'll find the perfect card for the man who God decided was the perfect choice for me!