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President, Senior Scribes
CLARENCE
By Delbert Blickenstaff
“Hi there, clone daddy.”
“What the ….”
“I know how surprised you are to hear me, a new born infant,
talking to you in proper English instead of baby talk.”
“That’s the understatement of the year.”
“Let me try to explain to you what happened. Nine months ago you
decided to try to clone a human using the nucleus of one of your own
nerve cells. You paid Mrs. Anderson $25,000 to let you use an
ovum from one of her ovaries, which you collected, emptied out, and
inserted your nerve cell. Does that describe the procedure?”
“More or less.”
“Then you implanted it in her uterus and she became my surrogate
mother. Now normally my brain would have developed at the same
rate as the rest of my body in the uterus and at birth I would be able
to cry but not much else. However, for some unknown reason my
brain developed faster than the rest of my body and by six months of
gestation I was able to understand everything you and Mom said.
Not only that, my brain is hard wired to understand everything you
know. I have all your knowledge and all your memory. I even
remember what you and that blonde nurse did on ….”
“Shhh. That’s no one else’s business.”
“OK, but now you understand why my head grew so big. It had to
accommodate my large brain. And you thought it was
hydrocephalus. I tried to laugh when I heard you explain to Mom
why it was necessary for you to perform a Cesarean section, but I
couldn’t in those cramped quarters.”
“OK, OK. What are we going to do with you now that we know how
smart you are?”
“The first thing I want you to do is to explain the situation to
Mom. I want to talk to her but I’m afraid if I just start talking
she’ll be so startled she’ll drop me.”
“OK, I can do that. It will be a big shock to her, but she’s been
very cooperative so far. What next, little bro?”
“Well, I’ve had time to think about this, at least several weeks.
I think the next step is to tell your, our, attorney. We are in a
good position to make a fortune if we handle this right.”
“How?”
“Think about it. You graduated from Harvard Medical School at the
top of your class at age 28. I have an identical brain. I
could graduate at age 8 years. We could sell the book and movie
rights to our story for millions!”
“My goodness. I hadn’t thought about that. By the way, what
should we call you?”
“Why don’t we let Mom decide. But I sort of like Clarence.”
Delbert Blickenstaff
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