Senior Scribe
"She"
By Mona Lease

Hi, all!! I normally do not write columns "ver-batim" - word-for-word when people talk to me. But, this one just made so much sense - I wrote it the way it was said.

"Mona, you need to write this. Whether anyone listens or not." She told me she'd "been there." There are so many nuances to this that I can not possibly look at them all. She told me she could not be sorry enough for her bad decisions. And they rarely had to do with alcohol or drugs! They were born of boredom and loneliness. It was "something to do" - better than what she thought was "nothing." It was some "personal attention" - she said she knew it was a "nowhere" road. Most of the time she was the provider - food, gas, money - whatever. - it was better than her and the TV or her and a book. Now - her and the TV do not look so bad!

Is she in prison? No. Is she in jail? No. She is a free person - not wanted for anything by the law or anyone else. You probably pass her daily. She works, takes care of her home, etc.

The idea here is - "You need to find out what drives the "need" for the drugs or alcohol. It is usually low self-esteem. The drugs, alcohol, self-abuse, etc. - dull the pain. The body is designed to take care of itself - adrenalin, etc. If the body feels too much intense pain - it starts pumping out endorphins. These are natural pain and stress fighters. They are actually chemicals in the brain that send out signals to the nervous system. These interact with the "opiate receptors" in the brain to reduce the perception of pain. That's the self-abuse part. While you can not become "addicted" to the above - the mental addiction - if you will - remains.

As for the drugs, alcohol, etc - people run to or from something or someone. In these situations, you run from the truth; (you perceive yourself as fat, ugly, unworthy, etc.) and no one can tell you you are worth something and you really believe (like when you are alone) for yourself. It's a Wizard of Oz thing - Dorothy had to find out for herself that if her "heart's desire" was not in her own back yard (her image of herself?) she would not find it anywhere else, either.

When you come to the realization that you can control how you respond to people, places, etc. - that you have a place in this world that you really want to be (you have to find it) - your view starts to change. You can admit to yourself that major things in your life need to change - we all know what we need to "fix." We live with it every day! Or you can let "something open your eyes" - maybe getting busted - or your child gets killed while you were passed out from 'too much of it all." And that happened somewhere while I just said all if this to you, Mona.

Lastly, Mona - "If all of the above does not work - check out who your friends are. With whom do you associate? Who is in your inner circle? They would know your fears, etc. They know what "buttons" to push to get you to do the drugs, lie, steal, cheat, etc. There is no honor among thieves!"

Remember the kiddies and our service people. Take good care of the furry and feathered ones out there. Be safe and healthy. See ya next time. Ever Toodles!! MONA