Getting to Know Hope
From Senior Scribe Marianne Clark

Another assortment of odds and ends from Marianne’s poet friend out west. I found the first one most amusing… I believe you will as well. They are all worth a read; I can identify with her perspective in the Clothes Horse. Editor.

HERE COMES HOPE

I get up in the morning a shower to take.

And sometimes I’m only half awake.

Then the scented body wash starts a war with the shampoo,

But I let them battle wouldn’t you?

After the shower the bath powder joins in.

It’s at war with the deodorant so the fun starts again.

Then the toothpaste and the mouthwash are at odds cause I don’t buy,

Both of them in peppermint or cinnamon, I don’t know why.

And I must always use my Ben Gay,

If I want to get through the day.

Then as I dress, I smell the scent of the dryer sheet I use.

Then I spray myself with Wild Musk my poor nose to confuse.

Now it’s time to go downstairs and before I even get there

A lady pipes up (after sniffing the air)

And she does say,

“Hope is coming around this way.”

Now I could buy unscented this or that and then

The ladies wouldn’t know when

I was coming you see.

And that wouldn’t be as much fun for me.

HW

To my knowledge this has never happened with the ladies, but one morning when I counted all the different scents

I start the day with, the rhyme came to me.

IT’S ME

I’m getting so much older than I used to be,

But then to live a long life, isn’t that the key?

Could I be feeling this way because we

Have just signed up for Social Security?

Where is the wisdom that is supposed to come?

I better hurry and get me some.

Things don’t stay in my head as long as they used to,

So goodbye to brain cells, I’ve lost a few.

But if you ask me a trivia question that’s as worthless as can be

I’ll give you the answer before you can count to three.

And my weight just won’t behave

No matter how I rant and rave.

And my patience has grown short

Sometimes I answer with a loud snort.

That would really impress Paula Pig.

Do I care? Not a fig.

I’ve always felt close to the elderly.

Oh my! Bow I am one----It’s me.

HW

NO CLOTHES HORSE

What is it about people and the clothes they wear?

Of course, I’m not into fashion and I really don’t care

What outfit I’m wearing on any given day,

As long as it’s clean, I’m ok.

My friend, who doesn’t like my shoes, says,” Are you planning to wear those?”

I just laugh and say, “You bet! These don’t hurt my toes.”

I may wear a pair of shoes until they fall apart,

But, happy day! My toes don’t smart.

My friend says, “How long have you had those flowered pants you wear?”

“Several years,” I say, “But I won’t find another pair

That I’ve liked as well as these

But I’ll pass them on to you someday,” I tease.

“And where did you get your shirt?” she said with a whine.

“Oh, I found it at the salvation Army Store for a dollar ninety-nine.”

Said she, “I’d think you would want to buy something unused.”

“But I’ve never worn it, it’s new to me, I mused.”

And she said, “Why can’t you ever wear a dress?”

“Because pants are more comfortable.” I confess.

“And if I should fall upon my face,

The pants would always stay in place.”

So she threw her hands up in despair

At my wardrobe and all I wear.

“You’ll never be a clothes horse,” she said.

But that’s OK, I’d rather be ---mred.

HW

True story

DIETING BLUES

Here I am on a diet.

Think it’s fun? Just try it.

Breakfast is fruit and oatmeal.

I want bacon but let’s get real.

Only five more hours till lunch,

Lean cuisine, thanks a bunch,

And green vegetables, all I can eat,

When all I want is something sweet.

For supper I dream of a whopper and shake,

But a veggie burger is what I’ll make.

And more vegetables, what a joke,

One more mouthful and I’ll choke.

I do get a piece of cheese,

A whole cheese wheel would really please.

Then for a snack I get ice cream.

”Oh! That’s fattening,” you scream.

You see, three ounces is all I get,

But then again I’m not done yet.

A small fruit bar is there for me.

A small portion is the key.

Pizza and fries are in the past,

How much longer will I last?

FROGS

What’s so special about frogs?

I also like kittens and puppy dogs.

But I have frogs, about thirty-five,

Although none of them are alive.

Some are plastic, some ceramic, some stuffed ones, too.

Some will even sing to you.

The fascination is not the color green,

Or that they will often sing.

A large one is wearing orange overalls.

I even have some on my walls.

One has its mouth open wide,

Holding the kitchen pot scrubber inside.

In my bathroom a frog does set,

Holding liquid soap inside of it.

I don’t care for the real frogs on the ground.

They aren’t nearly as cute, I have found.

There are no happy smiles on their faces,

And they are always heading for other places.

Someday I may tire of my frog collection,

But for now it’s enjoyable, I reckon.

What’s special about a frog is his grin,

That ‘s what makes him so appealin’

HW