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Idle Talk?
By Mona Lease
Hi, all! Many things amuse me - in a "do they know what they are really
doing" sort of way. With all of the court action and what to do with
the people who have broken the law - I'll elaborate.
Monday, July 14th; headlines on the Greenville Daily Advocate said that
Jason Hunt, 21 - "21" - was indicted for aggravated burglary - a first
degree felony. He held a gun to a woman's head (his girlfriend),
demanded she go with him, and threatened all else there. The paper said
they are in love and going to live together.
I've listened to people talk about other people (all the trash you can
imagine), see them in public and act like they are old friends...you
know - all smiles (that never reach their eyes) and hugs. My first
question here is - Are both parties meeting each other after having
mentally "reviewed their rolodex of grievances?" My next question is -
Why don't you tell the person against whom you have the grievance? I've
heard people say they are treating people the way they want to be
treated. Again, another question - Do you really want someone to greet
you with an "empty smile" and speak hollow words to you? I think it's a
safe bet that if you are talking about them - they are talking
about you.
As for Jason Hunt - if you could ask him - would he tell you yes, it
would have been better if someone - maybe a few someones - told him he
was making a mistake - a big mistake? You know - if they kept telling
him (the way we continually talk about someone and not to them) - would
it have made a difference?
I know change is hard. And it takes time to maintain the change
until it is a "natural response." Change is always easy - until you are
sick, don't feel "connected", etc. - then we tend to revert back to
"who we were" - so to speak. Arbinger's Change Pyramid has six levels.
Notice that "Correct" is at the top of the pyramid. Whatever level you
have the problem at - the answer is below that level. Starting at the
bottom - Level 6) Obtain a heart of peace - Level 5) Build
relationships with people who influence you - Level 4) Keep building
the relationship - Level 3) Listen and learn about a person's world -
Level 2) Teach and communicate - Level 1) Correct. This works - but it
is a lot harder than it looks..and deals with governing ourselves, not
others.
Now - with Mr. Hunt's picture on the front page - there's a "visual" -
proof that he made a grave error...proof that the "gossip" is right
(but did not really help). I maintain that; words spoken in the right
way - and a smile that reflects in the eyes - can get a person to look
at himself in a non-defensive way - and say yes - I am on the wrong
track. And if we are not able to talk like that - maybe he who is able
to do so, should go talk to the one in trouble - however many times it
takes.
Remember the kiddies and our service people. Take good care of the
furry and feathered ones out there. Be safe and healthy. See ya next
time. Ever Toodles!! MONA
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