That's Just The Way She Is
By Mona Lease

Hi, all!! This column has been playing in my head for a while now...words came and went until they have gelled. So,consider this -

A few people have agreed with me - so if I am on the wrong track - I'm not alone. A while back, a girlfriend of mine was found dead. With full confidence that if she were here, she would want me to write this - I'll continue. Gracie was a lesbian - not from the start, though. I knew her before that. We played together on an elementary school playground. On a particular occasion we "rapped it out" - as it were.

We sat and talked - of her lesbian choice and of my many bad choices. We came to an agreement.....which is the point of this column - not whether lesbianism is right or wrong. The agreement was that in my presence she would not talk or act "lesbian" and I, in return, would not "diss" her or act all "holier than thou." Neither would I act all scared or "invent reasons" to leave early when we had agreed to "do lunch" or "hang out" for an afternoon. And it worked!! She told me she knew when women acted all "weird and freaked out" when she was there. She asked why people thought she would waste her time hitting on a woman who was obviously "straight." What "worked" was - we sat down and really talked.

Now - if we did that with our neighbors - or the kiddies we know are "on the wrong track" - what would happen? I mean do the kiddies really know when they are respected? Do they know, at a glance, which adult is going to "diss" them and which adult will "rap it out" with them?

I've tested this a few times. You faithful readers (thanks much!) will remember my speaking of Mrs. Rapp..an old widow woman in the neighborhood during my "rearin' years." Only the bravest (or those who did not care) would walk through her yard. I made friends with her - she taught me much. At the top of the list is - I think she looked out of her window because she was lonely and bored...her husband was long deceased. She rarely had company.No kiddie realized that during the "rearin' years" - maybe no one told us - maybe they did and we did not care or take it to heart.

A certain 10 year old boy - to whom I've made it clear that I will make a place for in my life (I only have one mouth - believe it or not!) - asked me how my Dad was doing after his surgery! I do not remember telling him. I explained the highlights of the surgery, that my Dad is good, and the boy told me he just wanted to ask me. I thanked him for asking and he was off to the TV.

I encourage you readers to try being a "Mrs. Rapp." She told me it was her neighborhood, too - she owned property there, same as the rest...don't give up after a time or two of trying. And if you have a "Gracie" in your life - try "rappin' it out." When you see me out, feel free to tell me how it all went for you. I am intrigued by how many people have modified their behavior when I speak with them and I hold up my end of the "bargain."

When I signed Gracie's Memory Book online, I saw three signatures - mine, a woman I barely know, and - another girl who played with Gracie on the same elementary playground! At first I was shocked - only three signatures? Then I thought - maybe three people who really knew you and accepted you for who you were, is better than a page of names who never knew you or only spoke "empty words."

Remember the kiddies and our service people. Take good care of the furry and feathered ones out there. Be safe and healthy. See ya next time. Ever Toodles!! MONA