Only One Way
By Mona Lease

Hi, all! I've turned this over in my mind for some time now. And there is only one way to say this… only one way to look at it. And that is to look at the truth of it. Concerning the drug problem - here's how to make a dent (a huge one) in it:

Common drug scenario - "Jiles, man you really came through for us this time!! Just when we thought there was no heroin (pills, pot, crack, cocaine, etc.), you went to Bubba. Man, I know you don't like him at all. (See how Jiles is congratulated on a "job well done" and it is made known that he dealt with someone he really did not like, to get the "job" done?). Now, I realize that the above is on the wrong side of the law - but, the principles are right. We all "deal" with people we do not like everyday - boss, co-worker, gas station attendant (won't smile/smiles too much), Dr., lawyer, any "jerk" driving on "our" route, etc.

Many people have called me saying that they want to hear their parents say that they love them - unconditionally - or that they have done anything rightly. Many parents have told me that they would have paid any amount of money to avoid going to the jail to get a "hopped up" child. In a couple of cases - through choked sobs - it was an overdose. And it was to late to pay or say anything.

Now this is a two-sided street. And it will take close to a year to turn around the above situations. Trust has to be regained (or newly built) - on both sides. Habits need to be broken...on both sides. And like learning to apply lipstick or how to shave your face or legs without drawing blood - you have to start with a shaky hand and keep practicing. (Yes, readers, I do this daily. Got the shaving part down, though!). In these cases, those involved with the drugs need to hear they've washed the dishes correctly - mowed the lawn well - you get the idea. I mean - it's not really hard to "get high." There's no real "muscle effort" to it. So it follows in my mind, that if your son actually put down the toilet seat - he wants to hear a thank you. (He probably left it up to "push your button" and you yelled or stated that he "did it again" and around it went.)

All of this pushes my mind backward some 30+ years. After my Dr. told me I was expecting, I was given a huge stack of paperwork... baby name book, "What to Expect" booklets, coupons, etc. Maybe I noticed "it" because "it" was only half of a sheet of paper. "It" only had enough words to fill half of the paper. Over the 30+ years - I've lost "it." But, "it" is emblazoned and otherwise burned into my memory. "It" read -

"Raising a child is like a savings account. Every time you tell a child (or anyone for that matter), he has done well - every time you give that child a hug or a smile or a pat on the back - you put a "deposit" into the Love Bank. Obviously - when you correct, spank, ground, etc. - you are making a withdrawal. If you have enough "deposits" in the account - the withdrawals will not bankrupt the account."

I dedicate this to the late Jeanne Robinson - I wish I could have known her personally and not only through the book "Memoirs." In her memory - give a child a hug or smile - everyday.

Remember the kiddies and our service people. Take good care of the furry and feathered ones out there. Be safe and healthy. See ya next time. Ever Toodles!! MONA