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Open Letter to
My Niece
By Mona Lease
Hi, all!! Niece: I am so pleased you are expecting your first
"bundle of joy!" I know you have many thoughts right now. I know you
have wanted this for a long time. I wanted to share some of the wisdom
given to me.
If you set boundaries early in life - like when they are up and walking
- you will save yourself a lot of headaches in the future.
Raising kiddies is like a savings account: When you tell the kiddie you
love him/her or affirm behavior they have displayed that you want them
to keep displaying - it is a deposit into the "love bank."
When you have to reprimand or spank the kiddie - it is a withdrawal.
If you have enough deposits - love demonstrated - in the account - the
withdrawals will not bankrupt the account. Save the spankings for the
big stuff.
Take the time - make the time - turn off the tv and computer. Do
something just with them - everyday. Tossing a sponge into a waste can
is good hand/eye coordination and teaches the idea of taking turns and
how to wait.
The beauty of raising kiddies is that they are like a sponge - ready to
absorb everything.You get to mold a whole new life and "steer" it as it
grows. Everything is a new adventure - from the first feel of carpet on
their bare feet to the look on their face when they taste a piece of
the dog's food and all else. No kiddie has had any bad effects from the
dog food..
Let your yes always be yes and your no always be no. This is supremely
important. It readies the child for the world. There will always be
rules we have to follow throughout our lives - even if they seem unfair
or unimportant. It is better for them to grow up this way than to learn
it the hard way.
Mostly - if you just relax and take the opportunities as you encounter
them through daily life - to explain life...how animals live - the sun,
the moon, and the sky - why people act the way they do - it is a
natural way of learning. It is teaching them to live "with" the world
rather than just "in" the world. Since everything has a "cycle" -
lessons taught or experienced together will occur again later in the
child's life. He/She will have an experience to guide him/her when you
are not there.
Never be afraid to discuss the "hard topics" - sex, drugs, etc.
Be sure to explain why some people choose to experiment with these and
why some people choose not to do so. Ask for their input. This teaches
critical thinking. Keep it "age appropriate." This gives them an
"across the board" understanding of many views and helps them make a
more informed decision. See how always yes/always no is a
foundation for good decision making - as well as truth/untruth? Doing
it this way leaves no room for "But you said I could the last time" in
the future.The idea here is for the parent/child relationship to be
good enough that the child will come to you first when deciding whether
or not to try drugs, sex, etc. For this to be the most effective - you
need to exhibit these desired behaviors, too - always.
Lastly - I noticed you were carrying the baby lowly - which is usually
indicative of a boy - so "they" say. I say it is a girl and she chose
the "bottom bunk!" All my best to you.
Remember the kiddies and our service people. Take good care of the
furry and feathered ones out there. Be safe and healthy. See ya next
time. Ever Toodles!! MONA
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