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Along Life’s Way
A “Touchy”
Subject
By Lois E. Wilson
I commiserate with #MeToo women and young girls who have bravely come
forward to “out” specific men for their unwanted touching and improper
sexual conversations or advances. They are doing us a service if
their accusations are true.
I also commiserate with any male who has been targeted with false
claims of such conduct. And if his reputation has been tarnished or his
career ended by lies for whatever purpose, politics, career
advancement, or seeking monetary gain by shakedown or sale to a
tabloid, what is his recourse?
Here are some thoughts about those types of occurrences usually done by
an acquaintance.
Where is all this headed? How do we put sanity back into the
interaction between the sexes in and out of the workplace? I was
seventeen the summer I graduated from high school; I dated several
returnees from WWII who were five or six years older than I. One time I
thought a situation was going in an unacceptable direction and said
firmly, “No! I don’t want any Roman hands or Russian fingers!” The
assertion stopped the matter right then. That was the “old” way.
In our daily activities, it is time for common sense to kick in. Below
are recommendations that can help one avoid being assaulted or being
accused of assault. For example, as many professionals practice, don’t
be alone in a closed room with someone who makes you feel
uncomfortable. Don’t get drunk or high; stay clear-headed so that you
can make good decisions. Don’t give those around you mixed signals such
as flirting and using “bedroom talk.” Such actions lead others to think
you’re available and willing.
I am amazed at women who claim they were groped by someone standing
next to them in a group situation. Why didn’t they confront the person
aloud immediately? I say “person” because with same-sex relationships,
assaults on a “victim” could be by either sex. If one is consistent
about the matter, women should be as upset about a groping by another
woman as they are when a man inappropriately touches them. According to
a recent panelist on TV, if males talk about a girl being “hot” or
“attractive,” they are objectifying women. I would ask if women say a
man is “handsome” or “has a great bod” are they regarding men as
objects? We should remember that it is a two-way situation.
On CNO a recent article told about Callisto an online third party
recording and reporting system where college students can immediately
document sexual assaults. It gives support to victims and helps
indentify repeat campus offenders.
We all need to respect each other and the boundaries of society, not
only sexual but legal as in due process. I have never understood the
“Hollywood air kisses” which are bestowed by many as a greeting. The
act seems so superficial. I do know I would hate to see us become so
paranoid that we can’t, at appropriate times, greet each other with a
sincere friendly or consoling hug.
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