|
|
 |
Mind, Body, Soul
Leopards and
Zebras
By Mona Lease
Greetings, Gals!! A hearer of this column wanted to share her
experiences and thoughts.
"It seemed like all of the guys I knew and were around, were wrong.
They were all liars, cheaters and such. Then I went through a really
bad time in my life. After finally getting through it all...I realized
a few things.
We do not live in a "caste system." If you want to change your
life...your income bracket...your residence...your choice of "spouse
material"...you are free to do so. If all you see are the same male
cheaters and such...go to another location.
I learned that if you find a man (or woman) in a behavior...any
behavior...when you meet them...and it later becomes undesirable to
you...they are not going to quit that behavior entirely. They will
return to that behavior in times of stress, sickness, etc. It's what
they do...it's how they handle problems...it's how they celebrate. Take
a couple of steps back and watch. If a person tells you they have
changed their undesirable behavior...drinking...fighting and
such....wait and watch. They really only rearrange their spots
(leopard) or stripes (zebra). Watch how they handle a challenge to
their ideas or authority (real or imagined). Pay attention to how they
handle responsibility. Do they admit their wrongs or do they blame
someone else?
Do the guys you've been involved with paint beautiful pictures of your
life together and never deliver? Do they make things all your
fault..."we could have done this or that but you wanted to redo the
bathroom...go on a weekend trip, etc? (This is really a communication
problem. How do you keep goals in mind?)."
Another thing that went through my mind was: "Am I accepting less than
what I want because I am lonely or bored or because it seems like all
of my friends have mates and I have no one?
I also had to consider myself. Not every man could be flawed and I was
always perfect. That could not be right...could it? I started looking
at my actions and responses. When we were out and I was not
driving...it did not have to always be the way I drove to WalMart...did
it? We did not have to take my short-cuts...did we? I timed it once. My
short-cut saved us two minutes. Two minutes might only matter if I was
having a heart attack. I'd be waiting in a check-out line longer than
that!!
Probably the most profound thought was being alone. Was that why I
"accepted" relationships that did not satisfy me? Was I listening to
others and the media tell me their opinion of my needing a mate? I
started considering and applying the following to my life. It's pretty
amazing. I'm not telling you to leave a relationship or stay in a
relationship.
Nine Reasons Being Alone is Good For You: (1)Being alone clears your
mind. There's a lot of chatter in our daily lives. (2)Being alone
fosters creativity. The mind is free to explore and wander. (3)Being
alone builds confidence. You have to take care of yourself. (4)Being
alone encourages independence. (5)Being alone clarifies perceptions.
(6)Being alone diminishes stress and anxiety. (7)Being alone
establishes priorities. (8)Being alone boosts productivity. (9)Being
alone strengthens relationships. You lean on yourself which leaves
relationships free to be easy... without a "responsibility" attached.
I realized that even if you are in a relationship...you can modify the
above for a more peaceful atmosphere."
Sometimes all you need is for someone to just be there, even if they
can't solve your problems. Just knowing there is someone who cares can
make all the difference. - sun.gazing.com
The best is yet to be!! MONA
|
|
|
<
|
