senior scribes

Too Far Gone??
By Mona Lease

Hi, all!! I sat listening to a woman today bemoaning the fact that her Daughter-in-Law to be and she did not "hit it off" - exactly.

It all started with a couple of blouses. The woman told me the blouses were too small for her and that they should fit the future Daughter-in-Law. She thought instead of returning them - maybe the Daughter-in-Law would like to have them. Long story short - the woman's son returned the blouses to his Mother on his next visit. The woman is upset. It all got me to thinking.

We've changed. And - we should change - it were. But should we change so much that we lose what you might call "core values?" As a people - we've changed the way we relate to each other. As a people - we've changed how we take each other in to account...regarding...well...everything.

I read on my newsfeed (computer) a list of things that married women are "tired of hearing." One of the questions married women are tired of hearing was: "When are you going to start a family?" Today there might be offense taken. "Back in the day" - a scant 35 years ago...that question would have been answered something like: "We're waiting a couple of years. We want to have some money stashed in the bank." Or it might have been answered: "We've been trying, It just hasn't happened yet." See - both of these are honest answers. No "en garde" - as soon as the question is asked.

There might even be an honest response from the questioner: "You have time. Just relax - it will happen."  See - words of comfort. No "en garde."

Another question was: "So what does your husband have to say about this or that?" Back in the day it would have been answered like: "We talked about it and he is ok with me working - just not working at night. I got a job at McDonald's. I work the Drive-Thru in the mornings. Again - communication. No "en garde."

Back to the woman and her two blouses. See - she wants to talk wallpaper schemes, paint themes, and open ceiling beams and such with the soon to be Daughter-in-Law. She wants to do a Mother/Daughter type brunch...bake some cookies or other sweet-treat. And enjoy it with coffee or tea...thus "making a memory."

I remember times where we'd write down a list and put it in our purse. It contained what our friend or friends were looking for to: redecorate a room, surprise your hubby, help '"round out" another friend's wedding shower/baby shower, etc. These little "deals" from garage sales were the "spice of our lives."

I remember my best friend and I "going on the hunt" for outdoor barbecue party supplies. She had an old charcoal grill. She bought a can of special black, heat-resistant paint to paint it.

I can still see us - smoking cigarettes, drinking homemade iced tea...the can of paint between us....each of us painting that old grill on opposite sides.

In that vein and in that time  frame (mind frame?) - the future Daughter-in-Law would have taken the two blouses. She would have pushed the idea that she did not like them (or even hated them) aside. She might have only worn them around her Mother-in-Law. But it would have helped build, keep, and maintain a bridge between the two.

Consider the following words to a song written by a couple of 20 year old boys (men?) One is a Darke County boy...born and bred.

"I've lived, I've loved, I've learned, and I've lost. There's so much tragedy on the open road. More lost in pain than it was worth. And a half poor hope can drive a man insane."

Do our youth know (or see?) some things we don't see? Are we too far gone to see it?

Remember the kiddies and our service people. Take good care of the furry and feathered ones out there. Be safe and healthy. See ya next time. Ever Toodles!! MONA

PS. I wanted this to not get lost in the column: Thoughts, hugs, and prayers to Manhattan as they rebuild their lives from the 10/31 attack.

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