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Too Far Gone??
By Mona Lease
Hi, all!! I sat listening to a woman today bemoaning the fact that her
Daughter-in-Law to be and she did not "hit it off" - exactly.
It all started with a couple of blouses. The woman told me the blouses
were too small for her and that they should fit the future
Daughter-in-Law. She thought instead of returning them - maybe the
Daughter-in-Law would like to have them. Long story short - the woman's
son returned the blouses to his Mother on his next visit. The woman is
upset. It all got me to thinking.
We've changed. And - we should change - evolve...as it were. But should
we change so much that we lose what you might call "core values?" As a
people - we've changed the way we relate to each other. As a people -
we've changed how we take each other in to
account...regarding...well...everything.
I read on my newsfeed (computer) a list of things that married women
are "tired of hearing." One of the questions married women are tired of
hearing was: "When are you going to start a family?" Today there might
be offense taken. "Back in the day" - a scant 35 years ago...that
question would have been answered something like: "We're waiting a
couple of years. We want to have some money stashed in the bank." Or it
might have been answered: "We've been trying, It just hasn't happened
yet." See - both of these are honest answers. No "en garde" - as soon
as the question is asked.
There might even be an honest response from the questioner: "You have
time. Just relax - it will happen." See - words of comfort. No
"en garde."
Another question was: "So what does your husband have to say about this
or that?" Back in the day it would have been answered like: "We talked
about it and he is ok with me working - just not working at night. I
got a job at McDonald's. I work the Drive-Thru in the mornings. Again -
communication. No "en garde."
Back to the woman and her two blouses. See - she wants to talk
wallpaper schemes, paint themes, and open ceiling beams and such with
the soon to be Daughter-in-Law. She wants to do a Mother/Daughter type
brunch...bake some cookies or other sweet-treat. And enjoy it with
coffee or tea...thus "making a memory."
I remember times where we'd write down a list and put it in our purse.
It contained what our friend or friends were looking for to: redecorate
a room, surprise your hubby, help '"round out" another friend's wedding
shower/baby shower, etc. These little "deals" from garage sales were
the "spice of our lives."
I remember my best friend and I "going on the hunt" for outdoor
barbecue party supplies. She had an old charcoal grill. She bought a
can of special black, heat-resistant paint to paint it.
I can still see us - smoking cigarettes, drinking homemade iced
tea...the can of paint between us....each of us painting that old grill
on opposite sides.
In that vein and in that time frame (mind frame?) - the future
Daughter-in-Law would have taken the two blouses. She would have pushed
the idea that she did not like them (or even hated them) aside. She
might have only worn them around her Mother-in-Law. But it would have
helped build, keep, and maintain a bridge between the two.
Consider the following words to a song written by a couple of 20 year
old boys (men?) One is a Darke County boy...born and bred.
"I've lived, I've loved, I've learned, and I've lost. There's so much
tragedy on the open road. More lost in pain than it was worth. And a
half poor hope can drive a man insane."
Do our youth know (or see?) some things we don't see? Are we too far
gone to see it?
Remember the kiddies and our service people. Take good care of the
furry and feathered ones out there. Be safe and healthy. See ya next
time. Ever Toodles!! MONA
PS. I wanted this to not get lost in the column: Thoughts, hugs, and
prayers to Manhattan as they rebuild their lives from the 10/31 attack.
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