senior scribes

Mind, Body, Soul
Lead Us Not Into Temptation
By Mona Lease

Greetings, Gals!! The following has me very concerned. I'm concerned about how we - as women - conduct ourselves.

A woman I know has a cheating husband. He is now cheating on her - with a girlfriend of hers....or was a girlfriend of hers. The cheating husband knows his wife is friends with his new "bed partner." The girlfriend knows she at least was once friends with her new "beau." Watch how this spirals...creating pain to so many people.

They are not even trying to hide their affair. The man goes to the new woman's house - two blocks from his Father-in-Law. The Father-in-Law has lived in the neighborhood eighty years. Everyone knows him and his family. Still the married man does not care. The "other woman" does not care either.

Let's take a head count here. The cheating husband does not want a divorce. The woman will always be the "other woman." That's one who gets hurt - maybe deservingly. The wife is number two to get hurt. Her Father - who lives two blocks away from the "other woman" - is number three. There's a child of the wife's - there's number four. Say the wife has 20 good friends who get to stand by and watch helplessly - that's 24.

Add the same number for the cheating husband's side. Now our total is 48 - and counting. Add 50 people to each side for family (cousins, in-laws, etc) who get to watch helplessly. Our total is now 148 people - who are innocent and still get to feel the pain - and probably urged (or feel they are urged) to "take sides."

Add to that number (148), however many people who hear this story but do not know the adulterer or the accessory to adulteress. These hearers will feel pain (and a myriad of other emotions) - maybe because they experienced this scenario for themselves or know someone who did. And they remember how they stood helplessly by telling the hurt party: "He/She's not worth you crying...all to fall on deaf ears because they "love" this person.

Now - take 148 and subtract the original two for a total of 146 people. That's 146 people (maybe more if the original husband and wife have unusually large families and counting in-laws) who get to listen to sobs, cussing and crying...not to mention any grandchildren that may have looked up to Grandpa (in this case) with trust and purity....and now both of those attributes are tainted in the child's eyes. Double this number to include the "other woman's" side in this equation for a total of 292 people. Keep in mind that both the married man and the "other woman" are at fault here.

This is a column for women - devoted to looking at ourselves. There has always been a "battle of the sexes" - who is "supreme" - if you will. But - how do you justify "hitting the sheets" with your friend's husband - under any circumstances?? The woman in this story told people she was a friend of the wife's.

Aren't we - as women - supposed to have a little more self-respect than this? Aren't we supposed to be smarter than to put ourselves in such a position that invites ridicule and shame..and puts another black mark on women at large??

How can we hope for any change at all - as a people - if the kiddies get to watch this?? How can we hope for any change whatsoever in our society if we keep saying: "It's none of my business and keep blaming the schools, the government, the church, the neighbors, etc??

It is just me...but: Have you noticed that every time we deny the kiddies truth, faithfulness, fair play, honesty - those are the very qualities we do not receive in the future?? And we rail and wonder why we are treated in such a manner.

Think about it: We deny the kiddies truth...they grow up to lie to us (or distort the truth)...from our governments and down to our neighborhoods. Deny them fair-play...and they grow up to cheat. Deny them honesty...they give us back dishonesty. Not every child will succumb to his/her upbringing. But what percentage of them do you think do succumb to what they've been denied?

Sometimes all you need is for someone to just be there, even if they can't solve your problems. Just knowing there is someone who cares can make all the difference.

The best is yet to be!    MONA

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