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A Deaconess and Two Women
By Mona Lease
Hi, all!!! WARNING: The following is pretty hard-hitting...and it is the truth. I mulled this all over before I submitted it.
Remember the teeter-totter (see-saw) at school? It was a plank of hard
wood...maybe 2" thick...8" wide...and 14' long. It set over an iron bar
(bolted in place but allowed the stress of weight on each end) that was
cemented into the ground. There were handles at each end (bolted into
the wood) and you put a leg on each side of the wood...sitting on the
wood itself. If you had equal weight on each end...you could actually
balance this thing in the air - which left your feet dangling (if you
were taller...you held your feet up off of the ground)...there were no
footrests. This was on the little kiddies playground at school. Up and
down you went using your feet to push you up when your side hit the
ground. As always - someone figured out that if you slammed your end on
the ground as is neared the ground...the other end would take the
"shock"...or a "bump." This caused the other person...now in the
air...to rise off of their seat an 1/8 of an inch...enough to be
felt. From there...it progressed to "air bumps." These were done
using the handle and jerking your side of the teeter-totter down and
back up in a "quick hurry." Your feet had to be on the ground to do
this. The person receiving the "air bump" had no feet on the ground and
only a small handle to hold. Yes - kiddies got hurt doing this.
Remember this - it's a useful application here.
An active deaconess of a church told me that a woman in a marriage
should just let her husband cheat - or whatever other activity
the husband does that is distasteful...or outrightly wrong...as the
woman is doing her "wrong" thing, too. WHAT?!!
The deaconess said her Mom was living in the past and constantly
complaining about things that happened 40 years in the past. Her advice
for all who do this is for them to stop doing it and live your own life
- regardless of your marriage. Okay - I see the need to move on
but...WHAT?!! to the idea of letting your husband cheat (or whatever
"wrong") because "you're doing your wrong thing, too" What if
you're not doing anything "wrong?" And what about your marriage vows??
In the case of the cited woman - I know that story. In that marriage
there was adultery on both sides. So - it became the "teeter-totter."
He cheated - I'll cheat. He lied. I'll lie. He cheated with another
(new) woman. "What's good for the goose is good for the gander" -
I'll get another (new) man. Up, down, up down it went...lie, cheat, run
in the shadows, etc. They divorced, He died. Her next husband died.
She's alone. Up, down, up down, air bump, ground bump.
I ask, "Why?" Why would someone keep reliving the past hurts? I
introduced this subject to another woman and listened to her point of
view on this. She believes (and I agree) that there is unresolved
guilt here...that she is at least "as guilty" as her first husband.
There was never a "closed door" to all of this...never an admitting
that she did her wrong, too.
I believe we all know right from wrong. We all known that "What's
good for the goose is good for the gander" really only looks good on
paper or sounds good in the "heat of the moment."
I believe the guilt keeps her "revisiting" the past wrongs. I believe
that as long as she does this...it keeps her mind more at ease. I
believe - like in the original set of actions - if you keep repeating
"He/She started it" - you've justified your actions...for a while.
That nasty-mouthed conscience (we all have it) keeps running it's
mouth: "You know you did wrongly, too. You know it's not all his/her
fault. You know you could have made another choice."
In the above-mentioned case - since the original husband is deceased -
the only real option here might just be to admit to someone living
that....she was not innocent.
And the moral to this story (that I see too many now encountering): Don't ride that teeter-totter!!
Remember the kiddies and our service people. Take good care of the
furry and feathered ones out there. Be safe and healthy. See ya next
time. Ever Toodles!!! MONA
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