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Along Life’s Way
More Tools, Please!!
By Lois E. Wilson
Today there was a battle between me and the top of a can full of fruit.
The can looked innocent enough. On its top, it had a metal pull loop.
The loop was tight against the can’s surface. I took my usual lever
type can opener to pry it up a little so that I could get my lid
pry-tool under the loop. The loop broke free of the top.
Next, I put the can under my electric can opener. The lid was seated
too deep for the opener’s blade to cut it. I wasn’t beaten yet; I have
a hand can opener. I attached it to the can. I turned the handle, and
the opener started its course around the top of the can. It did cut the
lid in spots. The uncut spots were placed so that the lid could not be
opened.
Lifting under the cut spots with a screwdriver did not enable the
opener to finish the job. Near the attached spots, I pried up the top.
My metal cutter was too wide to access the uncut areas. I sawed with
the paring knife—that didn’t work. Finally I tried my art kit’s utility
knife. Two of the spots succumbed enough that I was able to get out the
fruit. I don’t think the can was un-cap-able but I do believe that I
was very close to being “uncapable” of opening that can.
Want some fruit?
In 2016, after being thoroughly frustrated by trying to open the packaging of various items, I wrote this verse:
UN-CAP-ABLE
Almost all bottles of eye drops
Are sealed with plastic over tops.
It takes a knife to slit the seal
Then if you’re lucky, it will peel.
Some caps may read, “Push down to turn.”
Others just press the sides, you learn.
They might have on the cap a strip
To pull open; it’s not a zip.
Once milk carton caps, I could split
Now my wrench must accomplish it.
The orange juice cartons have a plug.
You grab the loop and give a tug
And if it breaks before it’s out,
Try pliers, pluck to free the spout.
Jars may be sealed with vacuum caps.
Let in air? You want no mishaps.
Pry with screwdriver under lid—
It slips; you’re stabbed, heaven forbid!
The efforts to make lids childproof
Have been to seniors one wild goof
That makes us feel like unfit fools
When forced to use our kit of tools.
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