|
|
 |
|
The views expressed on this page are soley
those of the author and do not
necessarily represent the views of County
News Online
|
 |
Broke Wife, Big City
I ran 13.1
miles & all I got was this lousy self-esteem
By Aprill Brandon
People do dumb things. It’s one of the few things you can rely on.
You’ve probably heard that old quote that goes “the only constant is
change.” But really it should be amended to “the only constants are
change and people do dumb things.”
I should know. I am a people and I just did something dumb.
I ran a half marathon on Saturday.
Not dumb enough for you? Just wait, there’s more. I ran a half marathon
during a Nor’easter, which is a wicked storm featuring heavy rain and
snow and strong winds.
Still not dumb enough for you? Here’s the best part. I paid not-dumb
people $80 for this privilege.
If you would have told me 20 years ago that I would one day sign up to
run a half marathon, I would have rolled my eyes so hard at you I would
have seen my brain. Shoot, if you would have told me just last year
that I would sign up to run a half marathon, I...well, I wouldn’t have
heard you over my screaming children. But after I asked you to repeat
it four times I would have responded by laughing so hard I probably
would have woken up the baby and then I would have thrown a pan at your
face for making me wake up the baby.
And yet, there I was. Running 13.1 miles. In a row. On purpose.
Not only that, I trained for it. For months, I was getting up at 4:30
in the morning and strapping on my shoes and running four, five, six
miles in the dark. On the weekends, it was seven, eight, nine miles.
All on voluntary terms. All without anything chasing me. And all with
no other purpose than I needed to run a lot to get ready to run even
more.
Like I said, dumb.
On the plus side, it was also hard and painful and exhausting.
But it was transformative.
For some reason in our society we have this idea that people don’t
change. Maybe they do. Maybe they don’t. But I do know we evolve.
We evolve with each trial and tribulation we overcome. We evolve every
time we learn something new. With every new experience, every new
person we meet, we evolve. We evolve every time we fall in love. We
evolve with each heartbreak. We evolve when we hold our children for
the first time.
And we evolve every time we conquer what we think is the unconquerable.
That’s why I signed up, dumb as it was. It’s easy to think that the way
things are, the way you are, is how it will always be, how you will
always be. I was a tired, overwhelmed mom who was getting increasingly
frustrated at both herself and the way the world was.
But change is the only constant. And that’s why I ran (limped) for
miles in a storm. To prove I could change. That I could become the kind
of person who crosses the finish line. That I can be whoever I want.
And now that I did, I have a whole list of other unconquerables. I want
to write a novel. And a children’s book. To become a decent
photographer. To be the best mom and wife and daughter I can. And, lord
help me, to run a full marathon.
And there are now fewer doubts in my mind that I can do all these
things. Because I evolved. Because through this experience, I became
better.
And look, this could just be the endorphins talking here, but finishing
that half marathon gives me just a little bit more hope for all of us.
We can be better. We can make this world better. We can do the
impossible because history has shown us that doing the impossible is
what humans excel at.
All we have to do is try hard. Forgive ourselves. And try harder.
And yes, I realize how naive this all sounds but hey, we could all
stand to be a bit dumber that way.
Can’t get enough of Aprill? Can’t wait until next week?
Check out her website at http://aprillbrandon.com/
|
|
|
|
