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Along Life’s Way
It Will Be Duck
Soup: A Fable
© 2018 Lois E Wilson
Duffer Duck met Mallard at the farm pond. He planned to present and
peddle a new product to him. They had not worked together before, but
he hoped they could be partners in this venture.
He started his spiel with some history. “I don’t know if you’ve heard
of the family on TV that made a fortune from their items for duck
hunters. Their most successful one is a duck call. It’s like a whistle.
You blow into it and the sound it emits is a lure that draws ducks
directly to where the hunter is waiting—hiding in a blind.
“We ducks are unaware of the ruse and fly to our peril. You wild ducks
are most at risk because you frequent unsafe waters.”
Mallard responded, “I saw that trickery firsthand when I lost some
relatives to the hunters. Why did you ask me to meet you?”
Duffer started his hype. “I have discovered a new product from the
East. It’s called Duck Alert. Selling it will be easy.”
“I’m interested,” said Mallard. “How does it work?”
Duffer held up the item and explained. “This small band contains an
electronic device. You wear it on your leg. It works in the air, is
waterproof, and has solar batteries. It is able to lock on any duck
call sound and determine immediately if the call is an authentic one
from a live duck. If it is not, it creates a vibrating pulse on your
leg to warn you.”
“Give it to me for a week; I want to test it before I buy any to
resell.” Mallard attached the alert device to his leg and flew off. The
next day to test it, he decided to fly to a larger pond where he knew
there were often hunters. He heard a duck call in the distance. He got
closer and closer until he was almost over the pond ready to land. He
had received no warning signal so thought it was safe. Almost to the
water, shots blasted by barely missing him. He abruptly turned and
quickly flew away to find Duffer.
He told Duffer of his close call. ”Let’s open this device and see
what’s in it. I surely don’t trust it.” He couldn’t unscrew the top; he
took a rock and hit it hard. It broke open and sand spilled out. “That
doesn’t look like electronics to me! It’s pond sand! What are you going
to try and sell me next—contact lenses that detect wooden decoys? My
mother always told me that the word ‘Duffer’ means a peddler of cheap,
flashy articles—and that you certainly are!”
Moral: Get your ducks in a row, and don’t duck this warning—never rely
on quacks or quackery lest you become a dead duck.
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